INSIDE

i don’t wanna try anymore

don’t really wanna keep this up

i fell into a hopeless cycle

so dark and devoid of love

lost hold of who i am

no faith in what i used to value

i’m only hanging - by the thinnest thread

no one knows the truth

because i’m okay

but i don’t want to be

it’s taken so much time, pain and energy

to create this new, fake me

do you know what i mean?

well, no, of course not. you couldn’t.

“how i feel” and “what i think” are so minor

believing in them isn’t worth it

every minute passes so slowly

as i’m consumed with (bitter) nothingness

my pulse becomes a slight throb

numbing me to silence

i can try to paint you a picture

with hollow, empty words

but once i start, i lose my will

and forcing anything just hurts

i smile so brightly

i share my compassion

i glow on the outside

while inwardly fading faster

it doesn’t hurt to be happy

but it doesn’t seem real

i’m not even sad

just can’t seem to feel

i lie so much, only to myself

i know that it’s wrong, so wrong

but i take these blows, let them break me down

yet continue to say that i’m strong

fighting the same in & out battles

only means i’m trained

i’ve learned to reject the affects

so there’s nothing lost, maybe, but never anything gained