friendships

alone.

It’s dark and cold

But the worst part isn’t that I’m alone

It’s that everybody else isn’t

They stare at me and whisper into each other ears

They point and laugh

They huddle together so I can’t read their lips

They make sure I’m alone

I hate being alone.

I grab onto others just to make sure they stay

Sometimes I don’t care who

I just want to make sure that I’ll be the one who’s okay

I’m selfish.

But it feels like it’s the only way I can survive

I tell myself that they’ll stay

But each time it’s always another lie

I hold on tight

Gripping them tighter and tighter

Until I feel something slipping,

Cracking,

Beneath my fingers

I can’t let go

But it’s too hard holding on

The cracks cut my skin

Leaving scars that have been there all along

They’ll leave me

I know they will

And then I’ll be back where I started

Back

All

alone.