When I was little

I would watch TV

And see the shy kid

Overcome their 'problem'

Make friends

Become as extroverted as the others

And be much happier for it.

It made me wonder

If there was something wrong with me

Becuase I don't have friends.

I like people;

I'm not antisocial or rude

ButI don't 'hang out' after class

Or post on social media

And most days I would just rather read my book.

After conversations

I dissect what I say

Noting every stutter, um, and awkward phrase

Hating myself for every one.

I always figured

Someday I would change,

Become 'normal'

And be happier for it.

Then one day,

I came across

A quote by Mark Twain:

"The worst loneliness

Is not to be comfortable

With yourself."

And it got me thinking,

When I'm with people

Am I comfortable

With myself?

I constantly second guess

And doubt

Holding back

Eaten alive by anxiety

And leave less happy

Than I arrived.

But when I'm alone

I laugh

I dance around the room

Making worlds up in my head

Sculpting stories

Out of errant thoughts.

And I decided

I'd rather be alone and happy

Than togetherr and miserable

Even if that means I'm lonely.

Because I like

Myself better this way.

Who needs friends anyway?