Questioning the Fall

Fall.

The question isn't "Why?" But rather, "Was this inevitable?" Could there have been another option for me? Wasn't this forewritten in the stars and in the narrative of the Creator?

Fall.

Leaves fall. Inanimate objects fall. If I am falling, does that mean I am inanimate? Does that mean I’m sub-human? Sub-animal? Aren’t all suicides, in their own way, sub-human? It makes sense. They cannot bear to be human, so they escape. They cannot bear to live in this kingdom, so they fall.

Fall.

They say Lucifer fell and cannot be forgiven, cannot be raised to new life like the rest of creation. Can suicides? Does it depend on how we choose to go? Is a bullet still falling, or is it different? I mean, there has to be a fall, a crumple to the ground, no matter how one chooses. Pills, noose, razor blade, all have a downward motion.

Fall.

Potential is what they’ll all cry at the funeral. Wasted potential. What could have been? As if the things accomplished in this life can change the next. How could my ridiculous, selfish creations matter in eternity, in perfection, in Paradise? They couldn’t. They’d just

Fall.