Wonder

Sometimes I wonder

What is after this life

Is there an end

To our suffering

Or only more strife

Will there ever be a way

To cease these frightened tears

Maybe someday

But it's unlikely

Thus this agony

Will be mine for years

Sometimes I wonder

Will I ever find a lover

Will they be tall and gentle

An angel unlike any other

Or will they be a mortal

Simple and plain like I

Maybe I will find a suitor

Yes, maybe when pigs fly

Sometimes I wonder

Will I grow smarter

Through all my pain

But there must be some

Of anything

If one wants it to gain

I remember that I am weak

In the realm of the sharp-minded

I can only hope and dream

Of being anything

But intellectually-blinded

Sometimes I wonder

Will my prose ever expand

Then I think, of course not

I might as well get a fish

To walk on land

I am not Frost

Nor Elliot

Nor Whitman

I am not King

Nor Patterson

Nor Lovecraft

I am no good with words,

Even as I type them

I have absolutely

Nothing to offer

Just a plain girl

Wanting her internet friends

By her side

Sharing none of

Her peers' achievements

And over the years

She grows snide

Her joy fades to bitterness

Her outlook

Becomes so jaded

Some say she only lives

For her books

Others say her joy

Is far too deteriorated

But this girl, now a woman

Only wants this one thing;

She wants for someone to

Understand

That she does not want a ring

She wants equality for all

For all to be seen as the same

All the same as each other

As if each and every one

Were equal

And this is why she is jaded

Why her heart has grown to stone

Because she knows her hopes

And dreams

Are futile

And it has long since been known