My Tainted Soul

My soul has been tainted

My soul longs for the one I crossed paths with

The one I couldn't have met by chance but at the same time didn't stand a chance with

The one where in a blink of the eye the whole world sighed as time stood still as my soul died

My soul has been tainted

Tainted by love and true happiness

fulfilled by a life I could never admit

that I wanted so badly but would never get

She was the one I was supposed to grow grey with

The one I was supposed to walk hand in hand until we died of old age with

The one that made me believe in soul mates and

Beautiful times of perfection topped with undeniable lines of imperfections

But to each other we were all we needed

She was the air I breathed and everything seemed

To fall in place when I was in her presence

It was like Christmas time as an adolescent

The mure thought of her was a present

And every moment had me counting my blessings

But my soul is now tainted

I lost it all in the blink of an eye

For a moment of time I wanted to die

But through the hope things would improve given the time

Maybe one day her love would find mine

My soul has been tainted

I can't even look at another woman anymore

Everything's confusing like hell knocking on heavens door

I had to let her spread her wings and attempt to soar

But now it's my heart my soul my everything that's sore

At every heartbeat I feel it rip a little more

Every breath I take is like drowning at the shore

So close to safety but the ceiling has hit the floor

My soul has been tainted

Will I ever love again the way I once did?

Will I ever have joy again the way I once did?

Will I ever dream again the way I once did?

I sure hope so

But my hope is fading the truth I am facing

My mind is racing while by feet are pacing

Debating

Wondering why it's myself that I'm hating

Forget about that, it's the whole world that I'm hating

Why must I hold the weight, it's the universe that's misbehaving

The stars aligned and everything was how it should be

It was the universe that fucked up and turned its back on me

I'm not being selfish, I just want what I deserve

Don't I deserve true happiness in this prison called like that I serve

I guess not

Because my soul has been tainted

Never to be the same again

This fucking stench called life, when does death ever begin

I'm over it, my soul has been tainted