They Always Leave and Never Stay

They always leave and never stay

Even when I told them about how I had been hurt in the past by other men

Even when they reassured me that they would never do anything to hurt me

Even when they say, “It’s me, not you…”

They always leave and never stay

Even when my anxiety topples over me and I can’t breathe

Even when the panic sets in and I call for help

Even when I say I need them to hold me until the pain goes away

They always leave and never stay

Even when I give them all that I have to show my dedication and commitment

Even when I give up the most important part of myself

Even when I’m left naked in their bed

They always leave and never stay

Even when the night was so magical

Even when everything went perfectly without a flaw

Even when I saw the fireworks and felt the electricity

They always leave and never stay

Even when they say, “You are so beautiful”

Even when they say, “There is no one else like you”

Even when they say, “You deserve so much better than me”

They always leave and never stay

Even when I pay for my food because I don’t want to be an inconvenience

Even when I make all of the plans to hang out

Even when I make enough effort for both of us to make it by

They always leave and never stay

Even when I am always there for them

Even when they need a fix

Even when they need a friend

They always leave and never stay

Because I love them too much

Because I don’t know any other way  

Because “It’s me, not you…”

They always leave and never stay… and I will never understand why…