Just Friends

I want someone to love me the way that I am capable of loving them

And even though I know, I know for now, we are just friends

I hope your attraction towards me never ends

Because I'm afraid that if mine dies

Then you will realize that it was me this whole time

But I will have already moved on like you were never mine

And our story will go undefined

I have so much to say to you though

But as soon as you speak all those thoughts leave my brain

And their importance to you is left unknown

Forever engraved on all of my bones

You see? It's so hard for me to understand

When you say that you're not like all the other men

Who get what they want and leave as soon as the movie ends

But I want to believe that there is something different about you

Because to me,

You are more than just a friend

You're more than just phase for me

I can't begin to explain this to you lightly

But you mean the world to me

And excuse me if I'm being too blunt,

But you see?

You make me feel more than my capability

Please don't make me feel this way

Love me all night,

Only to leave me the next day

Because I'm more than just a temporary stop on your way

And all I really want is for someone to stay

I know you are going through so much in your brain

And nothing is more unbearable than the pain

But trust me when I say that I feel the exact same

Because we are both bound by a long unbreakable chain

As much as I want to be your friend

I don't think I can

At least not in the way that you recommend

Because I have already started to build the foundation

On which our relationship stands

I apologize for falling too hard

I only do that because I'm the past I've been scarred

Which may take some time for you to understand at first

But for me I sometimes feel like love isn't in my cards

So I cling to the men who show interest in me

Because they took interest in this nobody

But maybe I held on too tight

Which made them want to be free

And I'm always left keeping my own company

So please,

Make a choice with haste

Because my heart can't take this agonizing pace

I will be friends with you

If you wish

However, we cannot go past first base

For if we do

I can't stop my heart from starting this painful race

And I know this because I've been here before

But I'm hoping that you will prove the past different

And give me more

Because all the past abuse has made my heart sore

And I don't know if I can take it anymore

So for now,

We can be just friends

But know this

I will always want more than just one kiss

And I love the way it feels

When your hands touch my hips

But if we are just friends

That's too big of a risk

Because if it all ends,

Is it worth the fix?