A Million Dollars

If I were to somehow acquire such a large amount of cash (about £600,000 Brit Quid), I would first have another heart attack to celebrate, then, once the dust had settled I would fund a home for my friend, his wife and daughter.

Naturally, a part of this dwelling would be allocated Yowwas' Man Cave, a suitable place for me to live away from the unspeakable hovel in which I now am forced to exist.

I'd have a huge bed furnished with only the finest bedding and a special cupboard disguised as a painting where I could safely stash my choc bars.

I'd have one of those special chairs that old people live in, and a walk in wet room for those Cedar Wood moments when I do my thing.

It would be heaven for all concerned, and I could get a dog (which I've never had).