Leaving

with a smile, I decided, I could laugh it all away 

my depression 

I laughed so hard 

I cracked my rib cage 

and punctured my heart 

the red juices 

spilled 

my pain 

turned 

into 

laughter 

my tribulations 

became 

a comedic 

act 

something 

to laugh about 

my laugh 

hollowed 

deep 

and 

dead 

I made 

a

mockery 

of 

my 

immature 

demented 

pain 

I dragged 

the 

nails 

through 

my 

veins 

and 

made 

silly 

faces 

I invited 

a clown 

and 

told 

him 

my 

story 

I invited 

a jester 

and 

poked 

fun at my misery 

I invited god

and laughed in his face 

and poured him a glass of wine 

and got drunk off of scriptural fantasies  

I walked 

on 

the stage 

and 

took 

my 

bow 

and 

tripped 

and 

tumbled 

into 

the 

well 

of 

hell 

and 

fucked

hades 

and 

gave 

birth 

to 

my 

pain 

and 

let 

it

choke 

me 

alive