i am at a loss of words...

i am at a loss of words

heartache, discomfort, affliction, and woe

purgatory, pain, agony, and dolor

depression, dejection, torture and gloom

no, that’s not it,

there is not a single word to describe it.

but if i must,

numbness,

i am at a loss of words

but let me try,

as my bones ache in the wallowing of my sad,

as the tears roll down my face again and again,

burning into the wounds you had create,

ripping my heart and taking your name,

the stabbing in my soul, the blood in my veins,

the ice in my eyes, the screams in the rain and…

i am at a loss of words

why did you leave me

why did you have to go, why didn’t you tell me

what did i do

you left a darkness in me, a burning flame

in the dark of the night to call out your name

i walk in the fog with no one to hold and

who's to blame?

i am at a loss of words

forgive me for letting you down

for watching you split, for watching you fall

forgive me for not rhyming in my poem to you

i know you loved it but 

the memories are too…

i know i can never bring them back, and i have tried

forgive me for all i did wrong

i am at a loss of words

i can't put it together, and here i am

on your grave, on my knees shouting at God for

taking you away

it should've been me, the one in pain, 

the one dying inside, the one shouting in mind

there are so many things to say to you

and i am sorry i can't...

i am at a loss of words.