Beneath my eyes 

Lie a soul of sorrow

I am stricken

And caged in a sense

Memories are as wildfires

Spontaneous abyss

As I pace the aisle

Or the chilled floor beneath my feet

I am weary

But can't seem to sleep

My cracked feet worsen

As I walk

My tears seem to recede

I simply can't 

And don't want to talk

As I'm sloughing

I feel the rise of angry bitterness

Waking up to a tsunami disaster

No one to blame

I caused and created this mess

Pondering my purpose of existence

So much I want to do

Say

Have my way

This instant

Love 

My soul seeks 

Viciously

To be cared for

And for once be treated tenderly

Will this purpose I seek

Be fulfilled indeed

Or will I even remain to see it

Can I

Will I

Become so vulnerable

Emotionally weak

Or like others

Will it be

Something lasting a season 

One big tease

Taunt me not 

Keep your verbal bash

Is honesty 

Monogamy

Too much to ask

As we find ourselves intimate

Forgetting momentarily about the hurtful past

Wearying easily

A flaw of mine

Learning to forgive

Trying to forget

Being stimulated by compliments

And trying to feel comfortable giving them

Need not I say more

Because I cracked but he opened the door

A many of times

I must say 

That like the attitude of a recovering addict

I can only take it day by day