I can't see you.

But I can... feel, you.

I can feel you tearing me apart,

Throwing me back

And forth

And back again.

Like an intruder beyond my walls,

I hesitated to let you in.

You had already cut down the thorns on your own.

You climbed the wall that enclosed my emotions,

And it was as if you were looking into a mirror.

Wishing you could erase the image

From your jumbled up mind,

You climbed back to the top of the wall.

But you didn't go to the other side,

Nor stay on mine.

Simply sitting on top,

You watched.

Watched as I cried,

Died inside,

And tried to hide my broken heart.

But I was fine print.

And you were 20/20 vision with a magnifying glass in hand.

I tried so hard but you were always out of reach.

No amount of steps,

Could get me to you.

You called down to me,

As if I was right next to you.

Everything was fine.

But it wasn't.

Not for me.

You smiled while I cried.

All I wanted from you,

Is what she got. And it was like I never existed.

The day I lost you,

The day you jumped to the other side of my wall,

Was the day you became

A stranger.

Maybe I know about life

Maybe every word of mine

And my knife

Is not out of spite

If I could go back to

A day where I knew what to do

And just pull through

Maybe I'd still be

Here with you

I walked away

From my problems every day

I know that's not the way

But I didn't have much to say

You never helped me

I depended on myself to be

The person I thought I'd need

But I only caused myself to bleed

I don't know where to go

I don't consider anywhere enough to call my home

How come you never let me know

That getting high makes me

Feel so low

I don't ever wanna let my feelings show

This is not a game

What do you gain from

Causing everybody pain

Now you should really be ashamed

You better watch how you play

And everything that you say cause

At the end of the day

The dragon always gets slain

Stealing a glance

Sneaking a kiss

All of these things

I truly will miss

When I'm gone

It was following me.

Looming over my head.

A dark shadow cast across my every move.

It was watching me.

Every second,

Of every day.

There wasn't much I could do about it.

So I let it in.

I let it consume me.

It became me.

Now people ran in fear of me.

But I conquered many.

I followed them.

I loomed over their heads.

I watched them every second,

Of every day.

Until they let me consume them.

Like I did long ago.

Before I became death itself.

I don't want to talk.

I don't want to think.

I don't want you to ask if I'm okay.

Because I'm not.

I just want to lie with you.

I just want you to hold me.

Let me cry.

Let me be upset.

Let me deal with it on my own.

It isn't something you need to worry about.

Everytime you ask,

I'll just say,

"I'm fine"

But I'm not.

The waves crash over me.

I'm drowning.

And I don't care.

The car speeds towards me.

It hits me.

And I don't care.

I lean forward off the cliff.

I'm falling to my death.

And I don't care.

"Do you want to kill yourself?"

"No. I just don't care if I die."

If only you would stop.

Take a step back.

Look at the big picture.

Don't focus on the little things.

Just sit here with me and think.

Don't move.

Don't talk.

Just think and feel what's around you.

You move to fast.

Running around trying to get everything done.

You don't need to stick to a schedule.

Not all the time.

Just stop.

And breathe.

Only for a minute.

That's all I'm asking.

Just relax.

I'll make you smile,

When you feel like crying.

And if you cry,

I'll turn your tears to kisses on your cheeks.

If you're upset,

I'll hold you until you feel better.

If I have to hold you forever,

Then I will.

If you are doubtful of my love,

I will shower you in affection.

Until you are doubtful no more.

I will do absolutely everything in my power,

To make sure you know how much I love you.

Even if it takes my whole life. You are worth the wait, my love.

It's my curse.

My burden.

My baggage.

It's my depression,

And my anger.

It's my fear.

My face.

My misery.

It's my hopelessness,

And my pain.

It's my breaking point.

My agony.

My loneliness.It's my life,

And one day it will be my death.

And my freedom.

My only hope,

Is that one day,

I'll kiss you.

As soft as snow falling,

On the cushioned white ground.

As light as the wind,

Brushing your cheek.

As loving as my sweater,

Embracing your curves.

As sweet as a piano piece,

Singing quietly in my ears.

As gentle as the autumn trees,

Swaying slightly in the breeze.

As passionate as a dancer,

Twirling and leaping across the stage.

As spontaneous as a traveler,

Living only in the moment.

As fiery as a flame,

Flickering in the night.

"But babe it's only a kiss"

She told me.

I pulled her close and said,

"And it can be any kind you like"

So I kissed her,

As soft as snow,

As light as wind,

As loving as my sweater,

And as sweet as a piano piece.

I kissed her,

As gentle as autumn trees,

As passionate as a dancer,

As spontaneous as a traveler,

And as fiery as a flame. "Now was that only a kiss?"