Is loveless the same as lifeless

I've been without a pulse for too long

Innocence grown back completely

Like the trees and grass

Rebounding in joy

I've forgotten

Too much

So much that I might just stay

Over here on this side

Where romance isn't known

Stress consumes any thought

Before it forms

Such a strange place to be

Where romance is foreign

I can't understand

How others lives allow it

Edges from my nighttime dreams keep floating into my head, like a preview. The dream taunts me day to day. I reach my arm out to catch it, to remember. It decides to imitate a deer. The instant I move towards it, it's already gone. I'm left behind with fallen pieces of the dream. Each day it lands in the same pile, then bends over as if to suffocate me. Everyday.

My wiring has been closed off

I try and stay away

I don't want to feel

Or wake any part up

Of emotions and feelings

Been over 5 years

Since I last was alive

Vigorous and passionate

That's who I once was

It's been a day of windows.

Life looks at me closely

In the form of a Blue Jay

She loves our trees and roof.

Snow came down and hurriedly left

To not wear out her welcome.

Everyone keeps telling me

How beautiful it is outside

I know, I say in my head

I've been watching the afternoon sun

Change the lighting and colors

In the trees and on the mountains

The day changes into night

As the sun and moon trade places

And it all starts over again.

October is my color

It's always been my camouflage

Warm colors come alive

And wrap themselves around me

Usually it brings out

The best things from me

This year it has silenced me

October's arms sucked me in

And covered up my mouth

Too scared to speak

Too shy to move

Maybe I'll pretend to sleep

For just a while longer

That time of year

When coldness covers the sun

And dims its fire light

It's the kind of cold

Messing with my head

As it seeps beneath my skin

Dives into my bones

Blanket upon blanket

Warmth ever elusive

Like an idea once in my head

As I stand here and shiver

Feeling like a cactus

Been

too

long

Without any touch

The more time goes by

The more prickles I get

Tired eyes, sleeping soul

I look awake to you

My mind has been at the beach

And I don't hear one word said

Maybe I do that too much

Escape

Another sentence is said to me

All I can hear are the seagulls

I add a nod, maybe two

I do want to pay attention

But there is no leash for the mind

He stole the music inside of me.

Like slowly watching a fire burn out

Putting me down into melancholy ways

And I couldn't figure out

Why I couldn't play

Lonely instruments, gathering dust

Longing to be played

I sometimes wonder

How we all view each other

In this space for writing

Is it a few seconds of judgement

Based solely off of one word

How much does a profile pic

Sum up everyone's view

Is it the mood we're in

Or consistent themes we see

The number of likes received

Maybe the added poetry pics

Just some thoughts

How we perceive each other

And on the criteria it's based upon