The sun was beating down on my exposed neck. His ice cream dripped on my foot but it had been so hot I hadn't noticed at first. We walked along the seaside and then he said it. “ I think I need space” the frost on my teeth shattered my bones. Splinters pointing out through my chest skin as I internally bleed from the shredded heart. But the ice-cream has slowed my death. It actually stopped everything the hint of salt is lodged in a crevice if my esophagul region somewhere but it isnt as bitter as the truth. The chocolate fragments that is discovered by each glide of my tongue makes all of the components marry each other. Well any hopes of marriage and all the rest of the smooth hills of vanilla sex I once had was over. He was the pretzel slivers I had to pulverize to mold and dig out of a back molar. Not saying he wasn't good he just wasn't as good as ice-cream on a hot ass day with an ex boyfriend who paid for your melt in your mouth and on your foot vanilla spiced, custard innards with chocolate morsels and pretzel shards and a hint of salt minerals from his shoulder. Damn good ice cream like vanilla sex on a hot beach.

Oh how I write to you

you never know its you I'm talking to

But me I don't know me

Or maybe I don't know us?

I know you though

I know the hurdle in the shape of a block

All your glories and pain

At the same time putting us out of our misery

Yes we still have the wrist twisting and apprehension

Was my words deposited sufficient to your liking

How I use you though everytime I do

I'm not finished

Just like now how you'll wait for me patiently but it will bring me all the agony just to finish a thought and the little absurd point of it all to make it to

the end of the line.

"Everyone in town agreed the lake was haunted, but only I knew what was actually buried beneath it." I was also the only one who didn't tell the rest of the town that only ghosts can see the lake in the first place. If they knew what was buried beneath it the light would suck you up into some great beyond. Heaven maybe? Shh...

It will be our little secret.

I tried to read you like a character

Antagonizing my essence

fingers tumble down the spine

Slicing through pages

Wordy sentences

periods of anticipation

Fragments of punctuation

Prepositional utterances

I pursued you

So I followed a dream

A speechless fantasy

An endearing nightmare

I’m not an open book

I’m a journal

I’m tainted secrets

insecurities and little white lies

I'm narcissism with a hint of bitch

Uncensored fantasies and a touch of

Friendly inappropriate thoughts

I'm the confident untamable mess

That won't be read out loud that

Only these pages know about

I'm just a reflection

I can be your salvation

I can be your weapon

I can do damage

I can be what you need but not what you want

I can be your substance

Just don't take advantage of me I can immerse you to sanctify your heavenly body

I can submerge you and set you free

I'm just reflection

“Please don't address me as sister!” the cigarette unstable between her fingers.

“Well, si–Mary is it?” he stumbles with his words she fits her face in between her palms ash collecting on the floor.

“Call me Xena.” her face never leaves her palms. Mister Odester moves along to the woman beside her.

“Umm Hi, how are you today?” the room is silent. His comfort comes in the form of another question.

“How have you found us today please introduce yourself and share with us your story.” his smile sits on his face awaiting her reply. The empty chairs even stare at her.

“Well, I'm Faye I don't really know why I came tonight found you guys online. I guess because I'm in need of someone else’s voice besides my own. I recently found out I am pregnant. That's not the worse part my husband just died in a tragic accident I blame myself for because of my wrongdoing!” her voice is shaky Mister Odester hands her a tissue.

Thank you

The words leave her mouth with no volume. She continues on.

“I’m pregnant by the man I was having an affair with and he wants to keep it he has no clue my husband just died and that I was even married!” she can't contain her misery anymore she runs out of the building.

Mister Odester tries to keep the sympathy in the room but it is dwindling faster than the remaining participants.

He makes his way to the woman who is now sitting next to an empty chair.

“I’m Lena I’m an escort and honestly I've got work in an hour I just needed some free coffee!”

After the meeting Mister Odester locks up.

I wonder if there was something I could have said.

Did you get my message

a small hey

you never said anything back

I guess you cant

I'd like to think you love her

the way you never told me

but I told you to leave

so obedient your ego heard me

but you didn't listen

you thought about what I said

what I wanted and what you gave to her instead

I still hurt but i'm not in pain anymore

I never got closure I crave

leave me the fuck alone

or I moved on

I am waiting patiently

for you to give it to me straight

but I know it wont come

I know you cant

there is something between us unfinished

that wont let me go

just like you

I look for you from time to

but I only see things

things I don't want to see

voices that aren't yours

I live in your old neighborhood now

so I guess that's why

it's been a year since we spoke and even then

you wouldn't talk to me

I surrender my deck of cards

but you still have tricks up your sleeve

I put it all out for you to see

would you do the same for me B___y.

#poetry

His hands are beneath my skirt but his eyes are fixated on mines. We talked about this before it happened, the phone call was long and very detailed.

His hands are beneath my shirt now but his bulge is against my thigh. We talked about this before it happened, tongue in cheek in his car tonight.

Her fingertips strum on my skin

beneath my weight while she lets me play. I thought about it all last night before it happened.

Her thigh merges with my swelling pants with a jolt. I thought about this all night before it happened, finger unhooking her bra.

Her fingers dance with my pulse every tap a key to unlock my moaning yearn. I didn't think about this until it happened.

He nurses my tongue between his two sweet lips. His elongated parts nestled where his face ought to be. I think about this how it will happen, my lips throbbing, aching and calling out.

We are entangled and I can feel it my exposed parts trickling liquid. His lips kissing my inner thigh. It didn't hurt as much as I thought for my first time and all. Not as much blood as the movies portray.

I run my fingers over the two tiny punctures. My thigh still thumping from the bite.

“You promised you didn't bite!” laughter in her voice. He kisses her temple and they cuddle in the back seat plunged in in moonlight.