adoration of the slow motion

a room to think and mimic the singing

leaning against the silo full of noises

all the senses been torn apart in the loudness

this body breathing in countless times

breath, and breath, and breath

until the dawn breaks and few drops of tears

these feet slowly moving to walk back to the vast

away from the silo

away from the loudness

Did you notice our breath written on the window?

We blow to other directions randomly

What a bunch of fools..

But we tried our best to survive from suffocation

Are we humble enough to let each one of us breathing freely?

I don’t want to kill us..

As the room getting crowded from a handful of similar souls we gathered along the way, we swallow this thin air carefully

Our tears are falling

This room getting crowded

Our hands started to push away the walls

Push further while we breath this thin air

.

.

.

.

Then we broke the wall

For the first time we exhale

For the first time our tears followed by our smiles

No more thin air

No more room

Just us, many of us

Thats all we need right now

This rubber marble between my two of my fingers felt so content. I could squeeze it as hard as i want and it doesn't do anything. Just when i blink, it fights back. This rubber marble growing bigger... and bigger... and BIGGER! Then it sized up tripled my own size. There are only me and the marble. In an eerie empty room without limit. I know what will happen next, what ALWAYS happen is i will start to run to an endless direction, chased by the marble. Terrible image of being flattened by the marble motivates my feet to run faster.

I looked back to check. No marble. Nothing. Only me in this vast unlimited vault. Then it happens. The squeeze all over my body. In panic i try to resist. Fighting back the pressure to crush my bones. 

The marble got me and in justice they will call this karma.

Half an hour before the ride begins to raise, i can see the bore stare from my partner while we smile in cynical way once the familiar old songs were played. Just as we tilt our attention to our drinks and willing to check our friends situation, then it happened. The immediate rush we have been waiting that changed our steps into crazy stomps, flashes between the hypnotizing lights blurring our dancing feet to dawn.

You should tell me how it tastes

I wouldn't know if this ice cream suits your fancy

....hmm? What was that?

Still not talking, huh? Okay, i will leave you for now

.

.

.

*knocking sounds on the door

Hey, um... how are you feeling today?

I was about to ask you if you want to take a stroll. Beautiful weather outside.

Oh no! Look at you! You hair start falling off more and more!

Mind your way of rotting will you..

This side of the jungle feels so familiar. It’s too familiar for the like of one little deer. She would like to walk to the end of the side with her mother to find fresh plants. The walk is always nice. She would run faster over an excitement. Going down to the river and probably meeting other deer family. They would sit down for a while and relax, safely behind group of trees. Felt the warmth of the sun until they fall asleep. They would hide whenever predators spotted on sight. It was such an exciting sensation. She was never been taught how to hide before.

After a long day, they walk home and spend the rest of the day telling stories to their relatives. She feels the joy and proud to be able to do that every day. A new adventure every single day, she might think. And to the deepest dream she would sleep.

A year has passed. The little deer got bored of this routine. Mother wouldn’t explore further. Some accidents happened to other deer families. Predators found where they hide and jumped on them. Her mother took her to the other side of the jungle. Since that tragedy she would never let the little deer goes too far from their home.

But young blood would never listen to the elder. The little deer brazed herself and try to talk to her mother. “Mother, I heard the grass near the silver lake quite delicious and fresh. Why don’t we try to go there tomorrow?” asked the little deer. “Girl, I’m sure that is just nonsense. All grass tasted the same. In the morning they are nicer from the dew. If only you get up earlier,” she teased. The little deer blushed from that statement. She ignored the feeling and asking her again in another way. “But all my friends said that it is a nice place to go. I feel ashamed to be the only one who never been there,” she whined. Her mother realized that her daughter would never let this argument goes by. It is not that she doesn’t want to take her dearest daughter to the silver lake. She just remembered what the elder warned her about the place. Predators are scary enough to avoid, she doesn’t even want to find out what kind of danger they might find in the silver lake. Magic, they said. She doesn’t want to take that risk. It was bad enough gave her daughter a fright from moving from their old home avoiding predator’s claws. She doesn’t care if her daughter hates her this time. She must warn her strictly. “Haven’t you heard about what the elder said about that place? A mystery roams there. An old powerful magic that could harm us,” she scolded her without an intention backing off this time. “You will never mention this place again to me,” she added. The little deer was shocked of her mother’s reaction. She always careful but never scolded her before. She decided to listen this time and rest her mind off the silver lake.

That night she couldn’t sleep very easy. Her curiosity fighting against her will to obey her mother. “I will go there very early in the morning. When everyone still sleeping,” she thought. She lied before about her friends went there and told her that the place was nice. All of her friends got scared just by hearing the name. Silver lake. What kind of mystery lies there?

The sun still not rise up but it shows its edge of light. The little deer feel that it is the right time to have a quick look. She walks carefully, trying not to make any loud noises. Once she left her pack, she run and run faster. She just wants to look. It will be just a quick look and perhaps a taste of the grass there.

She can see the wild plants grow covering the path to silver lake. Not so far now. And there it is. A gorgeous lake mirroring the sky full of stars which late to hide away from the coming sunrise. She stunned by the image that has fallen to her innocence eyes and doesn’t move for a while. “How come everyone became afraid of this place? The scenery is incredible. And the grass looking lush,” she wondered. That gracious moment has captured her heart. And that particular moment has made her unaware. A golden light gazing the trees, flies toward her. When the little deer heard that shocking speeding noise, it was too late. A long golden arrow wounded her shoulder. She dropped to the ground and starts feeling panic. She cried a long cry. Beg for anyone rescuing her. Beg for anyone would ease her pain. In her cry she can hear something approaching from the arrow came. A golden light surrounds this creature. She can’t see clearly. A soft pair of hands touches her wound. A calming voice speaks to her. “Oh, my. What have I done? Hold on, let me heal you, you poor little thing,” the voice said. A warm light starts crawling from her hands to the little deer’s right shoulder. The pain slowly begins to disappear. The wound has healed. The little deer tries to stand up and give a good look to the voice. “I am deeply sorry for this, little thing. This is my play ground. Normally no creature would come around here. Are you alright?” she asked. The little deer tries to feel her shoulder. “Yes, I’m alright. I apologize to be here as well. I’m just curious about this place,” she said while trembling. The light slowly became softer. She showed her face to the little deer. A lady wearing an olive colored dress with a face as mellow as the moon. “Are you a human? My mother warned me about human before. They love to hunt,” asked the little deer. The lady is smiling. “No I’m not human. I’m beyond that. Can I repay your pain with a gift, little thing? You must have been very scared from my arrow. Let me do something for you. How about a wish? I can grant you one wish,” she explained excitingly to the little deer. The little deer feels not sure about this gift. Then she asks “I really can ask for anything?” The lady’s smile looks brighter. “Of course you can. I have power for I am a goddess,” she claimed. The happy little deer got excited hearing this. She has many things in her mind to ask the goddess. But she can only have one wish and she doesn’t forget about that. “Can you turn me into a butterfly? I want to become a pretty butterfly,” she asked. The moon faced goddess asks her back “are you sure? You are a cute little deer. Why would you become a butterfly?” The little deer anxiously says “I want to fly. And I want to fly anywhere I can so mother doesn’t have to scold me.” The goddess wants to warn her but she promised to grant the wish. She moved her golden arrow around the little deer’s head. After some swift moves she holds back her arrow and says “then a butterfly you shall be.” The little deer takes some moments to realize that everything looking bigger and her body feels lighter. She starts to move her wings in clumsy ways. After a while, she can fly and tries to fly a little higher. She flies to the lake and take a look to herself. “I’m a butterfly! This is amazing! Thank you, O mighty goddess! I can’t wait to tell my mother,” she exclaimed. And just before the goddess say anything, little deer flies away back to her home. “Oh dear, is that really wise thing to do?” she thought in doubt.

The happy little deer doesn’t care. She flies up and down in joy. She can’t wait to surprise her mother. Her little wings move beautifully. She can control them in no time. Home is not so far anymore. Fly away she goes.

From the distance she can see that her mother standing outside their home. Her face looks worry and tired. She forgot that she has been gone a whole day. She flies faster approaching her mother. She aims to her ears so her mother will listen to her. “Mother! Look at me. I’m a butterfly. A goddess turned me into one as a gift,” she said. But her mother couldn’t listen to her voice. Her mother feels annoyed by the butterfly presence around her face and ears. “Stop pestering me!” she complained. And with just one move she opened her mouth and crushed the butterfly with her teeth.

The moon faced goddess can sense what has happened just then. Her face turned from worry into desperate. “What kind of goodness I can bring to this world with my divine power? Tell me, Mother” she looked to the sky and cried.

It feels like a warm liquid crawling either from top to toes or vice versa. It combined with tickles and rapid heart beats. It comforts the worry and the weary feeling. Breaths have their way to communicate. Eyes speak without a single word needed. Simple touches makes you tremble even just a little bit. At the end you realized body parts started to react. Tense, sensitive, prone to shock.