One day I’ll be there.

I can't quite yet determine 

what it means to be alive.

Does it mean succeeding?

Because as of yet all I have done is 

fail,

fail,

and fail.

Again without deviation I 

stick to this path laid out before me,

a road into the opaque future that is

so far away, and yet

so,

so,

close.

So close in fact, that it is almost like we're touching.

Caught up in the crushing embrace

of my oh so familiar unknown,

an old acquaintance whom I have known

for long,

long,

longer than I can remember.

It's almost as if I'm watching,

everyone around me living as if

everything is fine and clear

and I am the only one who was 

left,

left,

left out of the secret, never given the map for this.

The days outside start to change, 

the length of cycles that do not affect me.

The only sun I revere is the one inside me,

yet it barely comes out and the darkness that resides is

commanding, 

telling,

forcing me into a place with no light.

It's so hard to see and it's almost as if

my road has disappeared completely.

I try to tiptoe through the off beaten trail,

but I'm afraid that I will be

lost,

lost,

lost in this forever.

I see with my heart, as my eyes

do not work in this inky black emptiness,

and there's a compass inside me that

points to the light, and all I can do is just

follow, 

and follow,

and follow, in the hopes that I will see it soon.

It's funny how now,

in the loneliest of times I can feel

so confused and befuddled.

I'm walking blind and the only thing I have is

my hope,

my dreams,

my spirit.

But with every step I get closer,

to confidence and the light,

and the place where I'm meant to be.

As long as I keep believing,

believing, 

believing,

believing.

I can get through this,

this cloak of empty nothing,

the muddled thoughts and feelings.

One day I'll be

almost,

almost,

there. One day I'll be there.