(Discovered in a box of old papers. I wrote this December 31, 1980, probably as a New Year's resolution.)

My philosophy on diet

Never ceases to amaze me.

"I've got to lose" I say and say,

But words don't seem to phase me.

Each night I go to bed and think,

"Tomorrow is the day."

But morning comes; the food is there.

Again I go astray.

I've got to change my attitude

Instead of just keep saying it.

But there's that food, and oh, it's easy

To keep right on delaying it.

I simply can't seem to resist

Whatever food is there.

I love to shop. You'll never find

My cupboards nearly bare.

I tell myself that if I diet

And lose the weight I want to,

The foods I love will still be there,

And then when I've just got to

Have a piece of pizza

Or a little taste of pie,

I can splurge because I know

The scales will never lie.

So I'll eat less of the things I eat.

That's how I'll change my ways.

I'll exercise to tone me up.

Then lap up all that praise.

But there's the catch. People start saying

"My, how good you look."

Then I backslide because I think

"One piece of cake won't hurt."

So it's up and down the scales I go,

And when am I going to stop?

I'm overweight and overfed.

I feel like I'm going to pop.

It all comes back to attitude;

To changing the way I feel.

It's not enough to "want" to look good.

The goals I set must be real.

I may not make it to size 10.

I'll never be an 8.

But to make me happy with myself,

This time I'll lose some weight.

(And that was 40 years ago and I'm still fat. *sigh*)

I am floored

and completely bored

at the hoard

of celebs adored

by public accord.