All these memories of you

Keep coming back to me

And there's nothing for me to do

But cry those silent tears away

I guess it was never meant to be

But I wish it had been

And there's nothing for me to do

But to drown in my own despair

You truly broke my heart

So why can’t I stop loving you?

I've never loved anyone like I did you

And yet I hate you for hurting me so badly

I'm crippled as ever

And I'm frozen with your face in my head

And there's nothing for me to do

But to stay under this wretched spell you put me under

There isn't anything I can do to repair the damage

I'm just a ragged doll being thrown around

And there's nothing for me to do

But to take it all in

I don’t think you understand how much you hurt me

You say you’re sorry and I accept it

Deep down I want to scream at you

But I'm not going to do that to you because I love you

There's nothing for me to do

But live day to day and stand my ground

The seasons slowly come and go

And I watch them as they go

And there's nothing for me to do

But feel invisible to everyone around me

Not that you really care

Because if you did none of this would have happened

And everything is all over the place

But we can’t change time and take back out mistakes

And there’s nothing for me to do

But disappear off the face of the earth

And you probably wouldn’t care

Even if you tried

Hold my hand now

Don’t let me fall

Say you love me

And everything will go the way we wanted it to be

It’s not over until we say it’s over

My tears cleanse my wounds

I’m lost without you

Please come find me soon

Before I fall into the great abyss

I’m not whole without you

I need you here to keep me sober

I need you here to help me get back on my own two feet

I need you here so I can feel your touch

Please help me from this nightmare

I cant seen to escape from

Do you have any concept of how much I need you?

I’ve needed you from the beginning

And I need you till the end

My life didn’t turn out how I expected it to be

But you were there to love me when others didn’t

You were there to hold me when I needed someone

You were there to wipe away my tears when I cried

How couldn’t I recognized that I needed you from the beginning?

You were always there when I was alone

Please don’t leave me

I love you so much

You’re the one I want to be with

Don’t turn away from me

I want you here with me

I’m not whole without you

I need you here to keep me sober

I need you here to help me get back on my own two feet

I need you here so I can feel your touch

I don’t want to live my life alone

Come back to me please

Don’t leave me here alone

Hold my hand now

Don’t let me fall

Say you love me

And everything will go the way we wanted it to be

It’s not over until we say it’s over

How long do I have to pick up the pieces of my heart? 

I opened myself up to you and I end up getting torn apart

I get hurt one way or another

I pretend that it doesn't phase me

But really it does and I'm tired of it all

I'm being me and yet that's not enough for you

Instead you pick up and leave me

And it feels like I died inside 

I'm burned and broken

So I guess I'll continue picking up the pieces 

Until there's nothing left of my heart

So please tear me down and have your fun

Because I'm nothing more then a play thing

See there’s this demon inside me that I constantly fight with every day. At times I’m too weak so I let it take control of me and I lose myself to it. I don’t feel like myself at all and I’m ashamed to say that I like it. But then it hits me and I realize that I’m going insane. I’m going insane and I don’t want to stop. Sometimes I have these moments where I’ll just cry and cry because I don’t know what to do or say and there are times where I don’t care what happens. “What’s wrong with me?” I sometimes ask myself. Day by day this demon, this monster, continues to grow inside of me. And with each new day I have to make a choice, either I’ll let this demon take control of me or if I’ll be the one in control. It’s a constant battle, something I struggle with every day. My demon grows inside of me like cancer. It’s my brand of heroin and I have to choose if I want to continue taking that hit or not. I’m not perfect and I know I never will be. But I try my best every day to not let the demon inside take control of me. But in a way it’s so easy to just let it take over. I feel nothing, no pain, no fear, NOTHING! Is it sad for me to say this? Yes it is but I’m not denying it. But then I realize that I’m only human. I’m nowhere close to perfect. I’ve made so many mistakes in my life that I could probably write a whole book with the things that I’ve done. There are times when I wish I wasn’t born and I ask God why he brought me into this world. I can’t understand why anyone would want to love someone like me. Someone who is conflicted every day with the choices she makes. I would rather just be left alone so I wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone that I cared and loved. Is it wrong to wish this? I guess it is. But I’m only human right? Neither a priest nor an exorcism can free me of this demon. He is me and I am him, he sucks me dry like a vampire sucks the life out of its prey. Not giving a care in the world if I live or die as long as he has me as his own. Before when I was told that I was damned for life, I didn’t believe it but now that I really think about it is true, I’m damned for life because I am stuck with this demon living inside of me forever; I’m cursed until the day I die. I caged myself in my own personal hell. It’s like if Daedalus created his grand labyrinth just for me and I don’t know how to get out of it. So say your bitter sweet good-byes to me now before it’s too late and I’m lost forever in my own head. The clock is just ticking away waiting for my last breath before death finally takes over me and consumes me whole and then I’ll be gone forever. But don’t mourn for me because it’s all for the better. Call me crazy, insane, psychotic, and stupid but what I say now is what I have come to believe. You may say otherwise by saying I’m an amazing and beautiful girl and blah blah blah but let me ask you this? Do you really know the real me? If you only knew half of the things I’ve done would you still say the same things about me? Would you look at me the same way? Would you tell me that it was never my fault? Would you still love me like you say you do? Would you still call me your friend or lover? No, I doubt you would. Now I have one last question for you: Can you figure who this demon of mine is?