boys

with their dimples and eye smiles

and their hair blowing in the wind

as they ride their bikes

into the sunsets

but why is it

i don’t want to be on the back of that bike?

i don’t want to hug the waist of some boy

but if it was a girl?

with their gold flecked eyes

that perfectly catch in the sun

hair streaked bubblegum pink

maybe i would lean my head against her back

and feel that bubbly tinge of euphoria

and love

what do i do when

reality hits

when the spark fizzles out

and the memories aren't enough to make me stay anymore

what do i do when

the night falls

when the rose rimmed sunlight that adorns the day

give way to dark crimson, blood stained roses and hurt

what do i do when

my breath gets tight

when i gasp for air

and i try to run

what do i do when

i'm alone on that road of shadows

when you're gone

and i don't know who i am anymore

you toy with your paintbrush of words

filling your canvas with the image that you perceive

painting me

with stormy, overcast clouds surrounding

painting me

with eyes hard and cold

painting me

my lips in a cruel form

you’ll never know

the true painting in my eyes

the clear, warm skies, a blush pink

my eyes gentle and admiring

my lips in the smile that only you can tease out of me

i wish you could see all that

and realise how much i love you