When starting a new relationship with anyone, take everything they say with a grain of salt. The truth will come out eventually. Maybe the guy has a wife and six kids in Bulgaria? What do you know? The girl says her name is Julie Smith and her ID says her name is Julie Smith. All you know is that she says her name is Julie Smith and her ID matches that. Eveything else is revealed with time.

Did you meet her friends? Her colleagues? Does he show up on time? Does he answer his phone? Does she cancel at the last minute? Have you met his family? The only way to get to know someone is through time and experience. If there are excuses and red flags, no-shows and mysteries, you have no one to blame but yourself for ignoring the warning signs. Love is a rush, a drug and it's so fun to go head-long into a deep dive. Just don't sign anything, buy furniture, adopt people or pets, or move in together until you've spent at least a year doing the hard work of getting to know the truth about the other in all its boring, minutiae. Because real connections are born of those little, excrutiating details. Does he remember your birthday, does she bring soup when you're sick, does he cancel a camping trip to accompany you to that wedding? When you spend time apart does she freak out? Does he have an addiction? A fetish? A job? A valid drivers license? An arrest record?

Oftentimes, you don't want to know the answer. You want the fantasy. Don't blame the other person because you jumped in with your barrel or change purse of expectations. He was just looking for a distraction from his wife and six kids in Bulgaria.

If you fail to wait for the gradual reveal, the answer will always find you, and it won't be kind. Don't waste years of your life on someone not worth your time.

Now, go forth and love. Carefully, slowly.

You know that same old, same old

undocumented immigrant waiting

from sun up to sundown

county clinic nephrologist makes the elderly Hispanic lady wait in her wheelchair

until dialysis is a mute point.

You know that same old, same old

knee to the neck cop

he can’t breath

don’t dare take a knee

Confederate flag flap over the field.

Same old, same old

corporate bailout bonus distribution before Chapter 11

Cinderella gets a dirty, torn rag for a mask

snaking breadline and a three month wait for a test

fat and happy stepsisters rock the house in their N95s

their white knights on a Quest with their Blue Shields

pay Beverly Hills labs out of pocket.

Quarantinis at the ball by the pool with DJ Francis

Cinderella washes towels and disinfects appetizer trays under stepmother’s watchful eye

She will be out of a job

EDD won’t pay

with her borrowed Social Security number.

She goes home

savin’ all her food stamps

she’s hitting the rage point

burnin' down country clubs and

the sex offender-only trailer park.

You know that same old, same old

black crows sew Cinderella a silk mask with yellow ribbon ties

fairy godfather Post Malone downs a Bud Light

his pumpkin turns into a Rolls doing donuts in the Vegas desert party on the strip

until ICE arrives.

Cinderella shivers under a Mylar blanket COVID-19 running like Post’s beer

prince leaves glass slippers and rotting pumpkin housing

in the dark ICE parking lot

The prince takes off in his muscle car spraying gravel.

Same old, same old Cinderella.