...I see your scars in the way your smile has changed from sincere to forced, I’ve seen them in the way your eyes fill with tears when you think nobody's watching, I see them in everything you do, you’re who you are because of them. You have scars, yours are just beneath the surface.

I did my makeup this morning,

I saw a scar in my eyebrow,

I remember the morning I got that,

I remember you waking me up,

I remember smiling up at you,

I remember you tickling me,

I remember laughing,

I remember being so happy,

I remember laughing when my skin broke,

but that's all, it's just a memory

It's not as bad as it was before. I don't think it could ever really get that bad again. It's not good though, I still struggle to go to sleep, and then to get up in the morning. It's still hard to exist. I wish it wasn't this way, but what would life be without struggle? So, I'm here trying to exist.

See the thing is, I'm no longer afraid of the dark, but I am afraid of what happens In the dark, the thoughts that happen, the cuts that make it onto my body. All of that, all of that is something to be terrified of, but it's worse when I'm no longer afraid of it, but it's still there, because I'm becoming numb to it.