Today we bury the hatchet

Third times the charm

Can I finally get past it?

The pain, the harm?

We’ve tried this once

And then again

Now makes thrice

My old friend

Last I saw you

What could I do?

You didn’t even fight,

Though I hoped you might

It’s over now

Though I don't like how

You’re at peace

And that gives me ease

I’ve tried before

To lay you in the casket

I’ll falter no more

My good boy, Hatchet

There was once was a girl named Jessi

Who usually ate quite messy

She preferred lunch at her desk, you see

The repercussions of which, would yet be

For when James ate alone he

was sadly without his homie

The lunch room became lonely

And the rhyme scheme ignored A/B

So as James ate in solitary

Across the street was a bang! Quite scary

Startling a nearby squirrel

Running off, his tail a whirl

Fleeing hastily, he hit a pigeon

Though only by a smidgen

Thus the pigeon flew away

To ruin someone else’s day

And so it did do

By shitting on a wrecking crew

With excrement in their eye

Their explosives were let fly

Adjacent to the White House

Or so it had turned out

The president quickly ducked

And thought his country fucked

This is it, thought Obama

“You can’t bomb me, I’ll bomb ya!”

So he pressed the nuclear button

Meanwhile munching his lunch time mutton

Like that, the bombs flew

The world burned down to just a few

And nobody knew why

The pigeon shat in that guy’s eye

But it was because Jessi

Who usually ate quite messy

Sat at her cube in jeans

As the world was blown to smithereens

The machine is here

The body willing

The destination clear

Here goes nothing

Flash, bang, it's done

Possibilities, I can't imagine

Here I am, the first one

Where I am? The sixth dimension

But something's not right

I'm back from where I came

Can't believe my sight

Everything's the same!

I see myself, entering the machine

Ready to achieve my dream

Try to scream, try to shout

Nothing comes out

Nobody moves, nobody blinks

I can barely think

Body weakening, mind fading

Feel myself disappearing

Try to run, have to warn him

Stop this, before it begins

Pleading through tears

My cries fall on deaf ears

Have I done this before?

Will I do this forever more?

Never to come back

I fade to black

My fate, signed

This cycle, never ending

I've lost my mind

In the sixth dimension

Inside, empty

Promise, aplenty

You, now gone

I, in the wrong

Your hole, filled mine

Your presence, I pine

Through fingers, you slipped

Glazed donut, you shall be missed

I confess!

There, I said it

Oh what a mess

I do admit

What I've done

It's terrible

To you, my only one

Your pain, not bearable

For I am why

Your ass is now stuck

It was I

Who left the toilet seat up

Why do I die?

Is it your fault, or mine?

I sit and wonder why

Just off the rhyme

Maybe it's you

The judgment, the hate

Deep inside will brew

Determining my fate

Or maybe it's me

Always a waste

Always will be

A truth I have faced

No, it's definitely you

Yeah you, with the gun

Whose wife I did screw

Now nowhere left to run

She just caught my eye

It was her hair that made me

But I guess this is why I die

For fucking the bearded lady