(Continued...)

In a sudden she woke up

And start to scream-

I tried to calm her to keep quiet

But she bit my finger and tries to fleet.

I grabbed on to her hand tight

And forcefully pulled her right back on the bed

I held her down tightly

And locked her between my legs.

I kept telling her to shut up

As her next between my hands

For a moment she starts to move slowly

As if she was out of breath.

I held her neck so tight

Until she couldn’t fight back

Her eyes did not bloodshot red

There I let go of my hands.

Then, I payed next to her

And happiness strikes my head

I am laying next to the love of my life

In a cold cold bed-

Last night was our first date

Worries starts to control my mind

What am I going to say to her?

I’m freaking out- this is not a good sign.

What if she doesn’t like me?

What if she don’t care?

Shit, do I look okay?

Damn I forgot my weave hair..

I was set and ready to go

Weird glasses and a hat

Fake watch, fake mustache, fake hair check

Remember, she don’t have to know about that.

I walked into the restaurant

Two tables in front of me

There she sat stiffly

As I watched her closely.

Her soft broad shoulders

With an uplift of her chest

Her beautiful bold red lips

Matches her long red dress.

I observed her movements

She glanced at me for the very first time

Oh how my body reacts strangely

Them eyes really blew my mind.

The night was late

As I counted the hours that she stayed

I wouldn’t want to miss my chance

Before this night becomes day.

She stood up

And I knew she’s about to leave

She gazed back one more time

‘Yes she’s mine’ I thought selfishly!

I followed her

Slowly right behind her car

I did my best to stay hidden

Didn’t want her to be alarmed.

I’ve waited in the car

Waiting for her apartment to go dark

The second it went off

That’s where it all starts.

I moved quickly into her room

Knowing that she was sleeping

But I couldn’t stop myself

She was too damn pretty.

I stared at her face

And kissed her forehead

Her jasmine scent fiercely strong

So I laid next to her in bed.

I started touching her hand

All the way down to her back

I held her gracefully

And start kissing on her neck.

(To be continued...)

I am beautiful, I think

With an oversized t-shirt

Baggy pants for full coverage

Low fat shake with a teaspoon of hurt.

I smile,

The best ones are upside down

The mind is the true enemy

Even without makeup, I’m a clown.

Excessive amount of fatness

Curves that are too thick for the eyes

Cellulites and thunder thighs

Underarm wings that can possible make me fly.

Stretch marks like tattoos

All over my naked body

Neck with extra roles

Mirror on the wall, be honest, I do look funny.

Come on self-esteem

Boost something new and hopeful

It’s a new year already

Tired of the old and the doubtful-

Wake up, breathe in and breath out

It is a brand new day

Start with abundance of love and joy

Let the negative fade away.

I am beautiful, I know

Yes confident where have you been?

Look at these luscious imperfections

And that smile, true beauty from within.

Embracing thy body

Let the judgmental eyes see

No coverage of shame no more

Taking the first step of the new me.

I am beautiful, I think

With an oversized t-shirt

Baggy pants for full coverage

Low fat shake with a teaspoon of hurt.

I smile,

The best ones are upside down

The mind is the true enemy

Even without makeup, I’m a clown.

Excessive amount of fatness

Curves that are too thick for the eyes

Cellulites and thunder thighs

Underarm wings that can possible make me fly.

Stretch marks like tattoos

All over my naked body

Neck with extra roles

Mirror on the wall, be honest, I do look funny.

Come on self-esteem

Boost something new and hopeful

It’s a new year already

Tired of the old and the doubtful-

Wake up, breathe in and breath out

It is a brand new day

Start with abundance of love and joy

Let the negative fade away.

I am beautiful, I know

Yes confident where have you been?

Look at these luscious imperfections

And that smile, true beauty from within.

Embracing thy body

Let the judgmental eyes see

No coverage of shame no more

Taking the first step of the new me.

Tell me, what do you see?

Birds embracing the flow of the wind

crystal clear blue sky

trees dancing in place

Rays of sunshine shining directly in my eyes.

Tell me, what do you smell?

The smoke of the kitchen skillet

Spices that waters any mouth

Smells of the northern vibe

Intertwine with a drop of the south.

Tell me, what do you taste?

Bitterness at the tip of my tongue,

Like last night's nightmare, a foul taste

Taste of my love, fading

Nothing sweet, ever, nothing for me to take.

Tell me, what do you hear?

A black woman woman, her voice echoing louder and louder

Restless deck of cards, one by one

Wheels moving further away

Crashing sounds of humanity evolving with less respect.

Tell me, what do you feel?

Emptiness, from inside and out

Decisions are never settled, my head

Cold breeze coming through a shield of clear glass window

sweat between my toes

sweaty palms, it is still cold

I do not want to be disturb-

A table been wiped down who-knows-what how many times

I feel lonely, unstable, I am helpless

Emptiness from inside and out...

What about you? Tell me...

I didn’t mean it

I know what I said,

Let’s just calm down

Quiet, I need to clear my head.

Just SHUT UP!

You’re talking way too much,

I can’t barely think

Can you just -

Listen, let me say this

I know exactly what you mean

But time’s changed

Which means we-

Cannot, we cannot

I said it before

You just refuse to listen

Instead you just want more.

Just leave it alone

Someone will come,

Come on let’s go

What’s done is done-