every time i cross your path

i think of the nights i wish i could take back, i feel like a sociopath

an equation gone wrong, i couldn’t do the simple math

i burnt every single bridge on this warpath

let’s be honest though, i deserve the aftermath

i feel my heart being physically removed from my chest

an arrow points to the northwest

where i should move, to put this relationship to rest

i will never get an a on this test

so i should move on, let you have your freedom to invest -

in someone that deserves your love,

someone that will never leave you second guessed

i ruined everything

with my entire being

did everything i could to prove i was unworthy of your love

show you i was the person you would get sick of

we could never grow old together

i made sure you wouldn’t want to brave the cold weather

i just wanted to tell you how much i loved you

how with each breath, my adoration grew-

i had a breakthrough

not that i was better off without you, but that eventually everything would fall-through

i wanted to spare you the pain i would inevitably cause

all the damage that was irreparable, i inflicted first

to make sure you wouldn’t have to see another one of your girlfriends in a hearse

i wanted to write poems about how your love was sent from heaven above-

about how being separated from you felt like i had buried myself 6 feet deep

poems about how you are my mourning dove-

the entity that grounded me, when everything was said and done

instead, i spared you

i loved you too much to ever let you see the demons inside my mind-

they would send you to hell below, your permanent borough.

our romance was intoxicating, the effervescence of champagne on new years eve

but i was not enough for you, so i will forever grieve

#heartbreak #romance #mentalillness

Will the sun still shine?

         Upon my demise,

                I wander the unknown.

                      An eternal time zone.

Can the sun still shine?

         I need its nurture.

              Body decaying and unraveled,

                    Death hits its final gravel.

Will the sun still shine?

      My mind is a hurricane

            Air damp and quiet,

                  I begin to riot.

His knuckles collide with my cheek, delicate but firm like rain

during a thunderstorm.

I struggle to break his grasp.

Each swing held buried wounds,

I collapse onto the carpet. 

MMA tortures me.