Love and intimacy.The two can be mixed, one can push the other into motion, and the two can be separate. I have experienced moments of all 3. Though, this girl, has come in and created a 4th category. She has pushed her way into my heart and my brain and created this feeling. This thought. That love itself, is erotic.

You didn't have to do what you did. You had the choice. You were , are , a grown man. You had the choice ! Did she deserve it , how about her family? And you had the audacity to lie ! If you would do this to one woman , you'll do it to the next. I can't sleep , I can't eat ,knowing what you are. And poof ! Suddenly you're my problem and I'm stuck picking up your pieces ! I never would have married you if I would have known.....

I like to set things on fire. I like to watch small things burn in my hand.

I am more compassionate about animals than I am about human beings and I refer to most children as "kid'.

I believe that Kurt was right when he said God was gay.

I dislike going to school , and I hate 90% of people who go to church.

I don't do well with authority and I do not like being given more "direction" than I need.

I don't like when I'm told not to kiss my girlfriend because there are children around.

I want to make her happy,

I want to make her feel whole.

I want to be loving, grateful, and sappy,

to satisfy her open soul.

She makes me feel new,

new with no expiration.

A love that feels so true. 

A girl with a strong sensation.

The wolves chime in,

how the hell did they know where to find me? 

I camouflaged myself, 

hid under my bed. 

I cleared off every shelf,

and did everything that the doctors said.

I did my breathing exercises,

I started being more peppy and more fun.

I keep swimming as the water rises, 

and stopped letting my mind run.

The wolves knew where to find me. 

Who told them where I was?  

Was it the voice of the man I see, 

Or was it the voices I have learned to trust?

All I remember is lying on the couch and crying in front of my family; the Mobile Crisis lady watching as well. Her stare was more piercing than my confused mother , and her sounds more heart wrenching than my sobbing father. She told me that they were looking to find me "a bed" . I didn't understand what that meant for a while. What do you mean? I have a perfectly fine bed in the next room over. She told me I was going "away". Once more I felt confused. What's so bad about where I am now?   My mom chimed in, told me I had gone to far this time. I wasn't sure as to what I had done that was " too far" . It was a normal day; at least normal for me. I waited on that couch for 3 days. I wasn't allowed out of my parents sight. I used the rest room with the door open, mom sat in the bathroom while I showered, they watched me vividly as I wrote my poems. It sounded like it would be nice , having my parents undivided attention. I was wrong, it's only nice when they want to give you the attention. My parents made it so obvious, they didn't want me in sight. I was beyond restless. I needed to know where they were taking me. Why were they treating me like this?, like-like some sort of child!  I didn't understand. I wanted the anticipation to be over. I remember that night, the night of the third day on the couch. The woman that had been at my house called. She said they had found me a bed. My mom told me it was time to go, and I got in the car. I asked "where are we going mom?": and she replied with " they found you a bed ,finally ",she stutters, " at valley grove psychiatric institute."