Sulfurous rainclouds in my mind:

I only wish there was a storm,

That hell or heaven would break loose

And pelt my skin with its slough.

But the clouds hold back,

Repressed storm swarms like a beehive without warning. Anxiety swirls

Clockwise, sounds like mourning.

The swirling wind dies and fog

Creeps, seeps into every pore as if

Sniffing for my heart and soul,

Mooring ships of joy lifeless in the port.

Once the fog settles, I struggle

To move: vision’s obscured, isolation

Ensues, cold breezes through me—

Swaths of mist taste like glue.

Depression ends, I never know when.

But one morning I wake and anxiety

Drains away, the fog dissipates.

@BricksandStones

Rainclouds boil heavy in my mind:

I only wish there was a storm, so

That hell or heaven break loose

And pelt my skin with its slew.

But the clouds hold back,

Repressed storm fills my

Insides like a beehive. Anxiety

Swirls clockwise, without warning.

The swirling wind dies and fog

Creeps, seeps into every pore as if

Reaching for my heart and soul, mooring ships of joy frozen in the port.

Once the fog settles, I struggle

To move: vision’s obscured, isolation

Ensues, cold breezes through me—

Swaths of mist cling like glue.

Depression ends, I never know when.

But one morning I wake and anxiety

Drains away, the fog dissipates.

I’ve been told

I am like a candle, burning

Even in the darkest night

But I’d rather be a quilt,

A warm gentle presence made of

Scraps cobbled together,

Providing the safety and assurance

Of rest. That way,

I‘d never burn out.

Those who say “we are alone”: do they feel fully alone in the universe? The cacophony of voices we hear, are those our own or the echo of some distant wayfarer reaching into our life? The short breath of wings from a dove can ripple water into waves. Consider the mystery of our own ocean of blood vessels within, and what spirits may be rippling through us.

A human is complex, perhaps more complex than we will ever understand. Along with blood and bone and brain are millions of neurons, lighting the way for thoughts, habits, desires, and personal beliefs. Psychologists say belief and hope are so strong they can create pathways and strengthen our experience of mysterious entities: love, health, joy. Fear is powerful as well. Can we say all share the same fears? Of course, there are many differences ranging over cultures, individuals, affected through trauma or nature vs. nurture.

But fear of the unknown.. and hope for the unknown… This is universal.

If we remained in fear of the deep ocean forever we would not have surfing, or scuba, or ocean floor research. Many unknown forces have come to light: long strands of kelp along the sea waves are no longer mermaids, though much of the ocean is still uncharted. There may be selkies yet.

But exploration of the soul and self, that is even more mysterious. The spirit of a human is truly enigmatic and we cannot understand until we listen.

Listening to the drip drip drip of my thoughts, or feeling the ripple of fear in my soul I wonder, is there a winged creature watching over me? Something to protect, strengthen, fight off predators? The spirit of the Valkyrie said to hover over the fields of war, a hand motion calling those who will live, and leaving the slain. The intensity of Greek and Roman gods fighting through their chosen heroes, humanity a chessboard acting out the deities’ marital strife or family conflict. The nature spirits arising in many cultures, reflecting our connection to water, earth, sky, and forest.

After all, where do tales of the supernatural originate if not from our own spirits? We witness things in life we cannot fully grasp or measure, forces beyond our touch. Spirits rise up in a response to humanity, as water stirred in a pool. The spirits of fear, or laughter, wonder, hope, or justice: all of these emerge at one time or another and we can choose to honor them or resist. Rallying behind a symbol can bring unity or destruction—it depends on what the symbol represents.

What are the spirits of today? What are the spirits in my own life? Giving them names does not mean they are sentient beings, who walk along pulling dusty levers to operate my mind. This also means we cannot blame our actions on the hand of a meddling Zeus. It may remind me: today I seek out hope and knowledge, like the Athabascan tales of a girl turning into a salmon and understanding the process of spawning so she can teach it to her village. I can venture into the unknown, even with memories of the monsters with glowing eyes I used to believe lived in the back garden by my bedroom.

I can support the spirits of love and justice—as courage and integrity in the world. By protecting and supporting the real lives of those around me. Through these divinely human sparks, we are all connected. Listening to the ripples of good spirits, we hear the heartbeat of humanity itself.