I remember my face was burning, and you said "you're so new, the world's going to break you about a million times per day".

So I returned after all. And I came back crying about everything, hugging everyone like they were on a death sentence. I'd see a dead bird on the ground and bawl for hours, my sister held my hand just to see my face get wet. There was not an ounce of bravado left, no one knew what had happened to me. I didn't speak a word. I never would.

I heard them talking about me,

The older one, she said,

"I think that girl might be a little bit too much like time itself".

What do you say when someone sees the worst of you?And doesn't really forgive it,

Is there any kind of absolution for being alone with only your half-brain?

I wanted to scream all my reasons,

I wanted to lay every explanation at their feet,

And beg for love, beg for mercy,

Lay all my grievances down and get a pat on the head,

A little good-job girl,

Don't we love you?We love you so much,

Instead I said something,

I said the worst thing possible, yes I did.

I said,

"sometimes my body starts to fall apart,

and I have to take a step back just to let it burn,

I'm standing on the outside watching it run around in pain,

the ribs are melting away, my cheeks come to be more red than white,

one eye rolls by and I wonder how I'm aware that's happening,

My mom was on fire, I think I was born burning,

I think I was born burnt".

I read once that anger is a sign of life.

I don't feel alive. Only a smidge of red going about. A couple of bloody lungs. I can't scream so I don't how to ask for you to hear me out. Listen. No, listen, listen.

I'm nothing, I'm falling apart. Everything I write sucks and everything I speak is mean spirited. Last night in a dream someone took me into a car and killed me. I woke up thinking please. Please.

there's a little universe I crafted,

after learning all your favourite shades,

and textures,

and all the smells that made you close your eyes to take them in,

I don't know what to do now,

with the lights I casted,

the lands and mountains I wove,

you don't need to exist here,

but leave something for the fireflies,

lay an eyelash to rest over a branch,

a teardrop on some pond,

if you ever come back i'll return everything,

i'll cut the flowers and bottle the bugs,

leave it as it was

All my answers are polite,

I can’t breathe.

I gnawed at almost all my fingers but it’s okay cause I’ve covered most of it with bandages,

The rest has some charm, they say.

It keeps coming, and I keep being the greatest hostess in the greatest house,

All the while home follows me around, it nips at my feet,

it holds my hand for a moment,

lightly, like salty breezes often do,

And I beg softly,

I washed the sea water from my hair,

I took out the pine leaves from my eyelashes,

leave me alone, go back to being a resting place.