Out of commision yet attainable

The insane aberration in one’s mind

The oh-so-scarce becomes obtainable

Is it possible to go back and rewind

As time goes by I think it gets much worse

Innocent bystanders are scarred with fears

Sorrow it causes continues to hurt

The affliction will last for many years

I pity all of the insanity

But do the people see what they have done

It causes the slip in humanity

I am to know that I’m not the only one

Can we come together and do our part

To stop the infraction and seize the heart.

Become just another downfall.

Never will I ever

Be an academic genius.

Perhaps its not important to

Be Faithful in myself.

All that matters is to

Grow up and make money.

My heart is full of

Dreams won't come true.

Ignore everyone who states

You mean something.

Listen to the one’s who say

You are just another individual.

It’s nothing but a mistake to think

Be whoever you wish to be.

(Now, read from the bottom to the top.)

the tip toeing in the dark to my usual seating,

the intensity of my young and broken heart beating.

the tears that were shed but never were shared,

the broken promises that were once beared.

alone i stood as i sat on that stair,

my siblings asleep without a care.

too young to understand but too old to ignore,

to think this mess started at the young age of four.

to speak up or to not make a sound,

knowing a broken family was soon to be bound.

it was the whispers in the night that changed my life,

the hero himself was losing his wife.

i stood helpless and continued to hope for the best,

knowing that this was just one of God’s tests.

but the thought of change made my heart go cold,

wishing time would freeze and i wouldnt grow old.

i sat and listened to their number of debts,

i sat and listened to their list of regrets.

looking over at my sister fast asleep in her bed,

with all of their words ringing in my head.

the constant conversations on repeat every night,

never could they find a way to make it right.

i thought to go down there to see what i could do,

at that moment feeling i had nothing to lose.

but I sat there quietly and endured the pain,

yet the thought of them apart nearly drove me insane.

and the constant confusion made me begin to lose sight,

of the happy days and the peaceful nights.

I tried to ignore it ignore what they said,

I thought to stop listening and just go to bed.

and those four words she said that made me feel sick,

my heart began to beat with an outrageous tick.

I jumped ran and threw the covers tight over my head,

Wishing I never heard what she had said.

I remember asking Him why he was doing this to me,

and begging and crying for Him to let me be.

It was hard to look up when things were going down,

It was hard to make a smile from what was a frown.

Shut my eyes tight and blocked the world out,

My mind filled with nothing but a million doubts.

I remember dazing at the ceiling with a blank stare,

Not knowing that the end was nowhere near.