Some days

I still don’t feel like you are mine.

Other days, like today

I cannot fathom anything but us.

Sometimes we're afraid

of what might come out

When we let the words knotted in our stomachs

Past the lump in our throats

And spewed onto paper

Maybe you're scared

Of a poet's purge

As it might induce yours

Your name runs down my cheek and crashes

Salty on my tongue

So I rub it into my chapped up lips

Trying to feel again

But the letters don't burn sweet like they used to

The sharp ended E's prick my cuts

The curved ones strangle my speech

And the love we killed hangs on "t"

I keep forgetting how badly love fucks me up.

It has a way seducing me again, 

even after every time it's kneed me in the stomach

and stolen my breath

It numbs the lump in my throat

with a promise to never let it swallow anything sharp again

I believe it

because I want to taste something sweet

and because you have such a charming grin

But blue eyes aren't enough

and I guess you still miss her

Cause the Novocain butterflies in my stomach have died

Their wings have broken into small, fragmented pieces

and I remember

I am drinking shards of glass again

You are the brightest star

In my solar system

My sun

Because you always leave me in my darkest hour

With burns

You are the cherry red lollipop

From the doctor

After a shot

Because you give me cavities

And I hate dentists

You are the wish I make

When I blow out my

Birthday candles

Because I wanted to tell the world

So it didn’t come true

I can imagine the twisted whispers

With which you assure yourself

That I’m okay

The false tongues that tell you

That we’ll survive this

That its for the best

What divine creatures make you forget

these days?

What potions slip down your throat

to keep you from choking me up?

I bet I’ve tried them all myself

And that’s how I know

They aren’t working, are they?

Words usually find their way out of my body

Accompanied by tears and wine and vomit

I am inspired to write by the sinking feeling in my stomach

By the lump in the back of my throat when he leaves

But you've come and taken all my melancholy

So I'm all out of poetry

I know you’ll be far away soon

And maybe our bodies will follow our minds a thousand miles apart

And maybe that’s when we diverge and forever continue on different axes

Maybe we’ll bypass each other always a few steps behind

And maybe we’ll both live by the sea but neither of us will take tallies

Maybe we’ll breath so far from one another that the sun will leave me to find you

And maybe I will be so faint in your memory you’ll haphazardly wonder if I even happened

But what if the universe takes a gamble?

What if our lives are not diverging lines but beautiful, undulating curves?

And what if they do intersect again?

What if by some sublime miracle of calculus we are woven into each other by our very nature and what if it’s logical?

What if we do live by the sea?

But what if you are walking and you pause to fix your shoe, and I catch up to you at the docks?

What if we throw our lines out together and they get tangled up in each other and what if so do we?

What if we still catch fish?

What if I spend sunset by the edge of the world?

And as my sun begins to leave me, what if I follow her into the abyss and what if I wake up to your sun?

What if I wake up next to you?