As I gaze upon my reflection, a sigh escapes me. The person staring back at me is not who I aspire to be. I see a lonely, overweight, and unappealing girl who longs to be somewhere else. When I observe her, I feel remorseful, as if she deserves better. It's strange that I can say this about myself without feeling the same way. Perhaps deep down, I don't identify with the person in the mirror. At times, I drift off into my thoughts and envision myself looking at my reflection anew. In this scenario, the image I behold is the person I strive to become. A mature woman who can fend for herself, pursuing her own aspirations without letting anyone stand in her way. A radiant beauty. I yearn to perceive this when I gaze upon my reflection, but currently, I feel trapped.

Love to me is unhealthy.

I imagine you with always with me.

I think about you all the time.

I need you. Like the way I need to breathe.

I'd risk myself for you.

Put myself through an eternal hell.

Just to call you mine.

I know it's unhealthy. I know it is.

But to me, that's what love is.

If you had a chance to save the world, would you? Or would you let it burn. I know some people believe in the morally right, but, I say to hell with that. Morals mean nothing when all of your beliefs were taken away; everything you ever wanted was wiped away at the blink of an eye. Sure, it might sound dark, but I don't care. The world has failed me, just like everyone else. I'd let it burn.

I think happy thoughts.

Sure, nothing is bad in life, but nothing is good.

I'm slowly becoming my father. My brain is rotting away like his love did.

I feel my mother's pain, I feel it all at once.

I also feel nothing, the complete numbness of myself takes over.

I simply mask it all; a small laugh coming out makes people think I'm happy, right?

I hope so.

I don't want anyone to worry.

I think happy thoughts.