Underneath the greenwood tree,

I saw you and you saw me.

Then we decided,

What will be will be,

And for the future?

We'll have to see!

All the world's a stage,

And all the people on it merely players.

Someone said, I think.

But what if you're in the auditorium,

Looking on, listening, locked in the dark,

Unable to take part?

Maybe I was stillborn

But no-one told me.

There was no funeral,

I think I would have remembered that.

So I carried on 'living'.

What else could I do?

An invisible observer,

Watching and listening but not participating!

An audience of one.

I am old.

I am single.

I have no kids.

I have no friends.

I have no relatives.

Why am I here?

Because I am condemned to live - for life!

I am old.

I am single.

I have no kids.

I have no friends.

I have no hope.

But ai am condemned to live - for life!

Depended,

Thrown in the deep end?

Delighted,

In the dark?

Debunked,

Thrown out of bed?

Justice,

Only frozen water?

Dethroned,

Thrown off the loo?

Denuded,

Got dressed?

A crocodile's smile stretches from ear to ear,

And if you draw near

He'll show you his teeth

If you can smell his bad breath

You are so close to death!

So say "Shut your trap!

Or I'll give you a slap!",

Better still, "Take a nap!",

"I can do without all your crap!"

Then stand well back

To avoid any snap.

Where do you go when you die?

Do you fly?

Around life,

Like a moth round a light?

Or do you hide deep underground,

So as not to be found?

And have no need to wander around!

If interest is the rest gravediggers take after interring a body,

Then is disinterest the rest taken after exhuming a body?

That's a thought worth burying in a hole and forgetting about!

What is compound interest?

Is it the rest taken after a burial in un-consecrated ground?

Well deserved, I'll be bound!