Over a Year Ago

Sometimes I get sad

I don't know why

I just feel real bad

And I start to cry

My friends try to help

But it's no use

I can't even help myself

I deal with the abuse

On happy days I'm gone

Lost in a world of shadows

I live on the devil's lawn

Want to share my woes

But want to keep them safe

No way to keep us all happy

So I'm left behind

Today

Sometimes I decide

I'm sad today

There's no way

I'll be able to smile

Then I see them

And I just can't help

But crack a grin

It's like they take a pick

To my glass bowl

And all my fears spill out

And travel far away

I used to think I was a burden

But I've learned I'm worth it

For today

A middle aged woman comes out of the closet

A young man cries for hours

A teen girl is forced to keep her baby

A child is forced to wear a dress

A story left unwritten

A story labeled "unremarkable" and thrown away

I used to think it would be easy to write.

To gain an audience.

To show my mind to the world.

Instead all I created were painful memories.

Painful only because I could never erase them.

Otherwise mundane.

I used to think love would be grand.

Now I stay far away.

I crush my crushes.

And slap on a smile.

It must look platonic.

Or the slap will sting.

I used to think faith was a sham.

Just some story made up centuries ago.

That everyone believed.

But it gives people hope.

And sometimes that's all we need.

Sometimes it's all I need.

I used to be happy without reason.

Hi

Hello

It really shouldn’t be that

H a r d

But

Why

Why don’t you like me

All I said was

Hi

Soft splatters

Come from the clouds

Some say they're crying

But if so

I'd say they're happy tears

Why hate rain

When all it does is bring

A sense of warmth

And coziness

Inside an otherwise normal house

Why hate rain

When it brings rainbows

And puddles

And glee

And wonder

Why hate rain

When, if you have raingear

You only get wet enough

To be cooled off

On a hot summer day

Why not love rain

It waters the flowers

It brings water to people in need

It fills lakes and oceans and ponds

It fills me with joy

There is a monster under my bed

He has two cute pointed horns on the top of his head

My monster is orange and has fluffy fur

When I sratch his horns he starts to pur

He comes out at night when why brother's asleep

When he comes out from my bed he makes not a peep

So as not to wake my big mean old brother

Who my monster thinks about as rude as my mother

Whenever they come in my room my monster hides

He runs away so fast he practically glides

I guess under there there are lots of rats

After all, my monster is just a cat

A poem in two perspectives, based on the “Room in Brooklyn” painting by Edward Hopper.

1. I find myself looking down again

To the street where people are walking together

Laughing, talking, holding hands

Never lonely

Unlike me

Everyday I looked down

Hoping someone would look back

Maybe wave

Maybe come up to see me

But that dream has not yet become a reality

2. I walked down the street with my bag in hand

My new building was somewhere down here

I looked up at the building

To see if I could find my window

But instead I found the window of a girl

She looked around my age

But instead of having the face of a happy young woman

She looked sad

Even lonely

I just stared up at her for a few minutes

Until she caught my eye

And I walked into the building

I once saw a purple cow

Standing by a blood orange plow

His farm was by the angel falls

The farm had twenty bright blue walls

Behind the falls was the Starved Rock State Park...

I swear I just heard that purple cow bark