It was here yesterday.

... and the day before and the day before that.

Now, it's gone ... again.

Hard to fathom how such a rather somewhat large item could just up and disappear.

But dammit!

I have lost my mind!

(If it comes back, I'll let you know.)

I will never get my heart back.

I gave it to you years ago

But you didn't handle it with care.

You'd shoot it with a shotgun and then put it back together with band-aids.

A temporary fix until you'd do it again.

You'd shoot me over and over again until there was nothing left to hurt.

You drained the life from my body,

Crushing my most vital organ.

You would sink your claws into it

And pull with all you might.

You'd relish the sound of my screams

As you killed me.

I don't feel anything anymore.

I used to feel with my heart

But now it's gone.

They say that some people will always have a place in your heart,

But not you.

You've taken my heart, ripped it to shreds,

Tossed it to the dogs,

Crushed it a million times over.

My heart,

It's broken.

I'll never get it back.

It'll never be mine again.

It was

part of me

and then

it wasn’t

I didn’t know

I would miss it

when it was gone

didn’t recognize it

when I had it

didn’t respect it

didn’t want it

gave it away

happily

joyfully

lovingly

didn’t resist

when

it was taken

eroded

violated

abused

now

I look

and see

it is no more

in its place

age

knowledge

experience

it’s loss merely

a consequence

of living.

I guess I lost you 

In between sunset and sunrise

Somewhere before the divide

I woke to no heartbeat

Against the sheets

Or cold feet against my thighs

No lull of your breathing

Or pull from the sheets

The chill of the absence

Left my spine untouched

By warm hands

A pulse echoing against my skin

The wrap in the blanket

Covering two souls

The rise of your chest

The falling of my heart

Just touched by sun

The only love, 
I can count on.

#loss #love #poetry

Sometimes, I mourn

The passing of childhood innocence

It was a much simpler time,

Free from pain,

Rife with wonder and vibrant life

A time when all I did was dream,

Imagining grand castles,

The endings to fairytales

Everything was so easy,

Filled with glistening magic

With the passage of time,

That viewpoint withered away

Along with it,

Vanished the precious glow

Of a sacred childhood, well known

It all disappeared, one day

Leaving everything in disarray

No more daydreaming,

No more fable weaving

No more magic

In the cold, cruel world

Without childhood

***

I remember

the Girl Before.

What a paradox she was!—

all sufferer’s wisdom

and unfettered cheer—

and rote endurance of the awful

through unthinking

optimism.

A sweet, simple thing

butchered

by epiphany.

One moment of clairvoyance

slaughtered

joie de vivre—

for when she saw

all could-be endings

unfurl before her eyes

like tidal waves

crashing

unto the shore

of the future,

her spirit shattered;

shards scattered

across the sands of time;

and

in their place,

a Woman After

took to mourning.

***

#poetry

#freeverse

I can’t imagine

the autumn tree

considers the amber wind

a contender for affection.

Growth, loss, sun-blooded

beams, a rain of sickles

across cherry pews

of stained light.

Footsteps, silent,

Walk to shore

Flanking sides,

Guards like soldiers

Strong towers,

Pillars, ’neath a pier

The waves do crash

As you draw near

Hues of copper,

Orange, aflame

Bid farewell

To end this day

And though

Reflections reach to me

You’ll leave too soon

Buried at sea

photo: johnhmoore.com