Santa hates the poor kids.

He only hangs with the rich.

And if you ain't got money

Then he ain't coming.

No presents under your tree tonight.

Santa hates poor kids...

(By YourFavoriteMartian)

Because... Seriously, who has time to cook around the holidays?! lol

Twelve Days Of Fast Food

(To The Tune “Twelve days of Christmas”)

On the first day of Christmas,

my drive through gave to me:

a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the second day of Christmas,

my drive through gave to me:

Two Happy Meals,

and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the third day of Christmas,

my drive through gave to me:

Three Biggie Fries,

Two Happy Meals,

and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the fourth day of Christmas,

my drive through gave to me:

Four Egg McMuffins,

Three Biggie Fries,

Two Happy Meals,

and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the fifth day of Christmas,

my drive through gave to me:

Five onion rings,

Four Egg McMuffins,

Three Biggie Fries,

Two Happy Meals,

and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the sixth day of Christmas,

My drive through gave to me:

Six chocolate milkshakes,

Five onion rings,

Four Egg McMuffins,

Three Biggie Fries,

Two Happy Meals,

and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the seventh day of Christmas,

My drive through gave to me:

Seven pints of cole slaw,

Six chocolate milkshakes,

Five onion rings,

Four Egg McMuffins,

Three Biggie Fries,

Two Happy Meals,

and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the eighth day of Christmas,

My drive through gave to me:

Eight bowls of chili,

Seven pints of coleslaw,

Six chocolate milkshakes,

Five onion rings,

Four Egg McMuffins,

Three Biggie Fries,

Two Happy Meals,

and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the ninth day of Christmas,

My drive through gave to me:

Nine polish hot dogs,

Eight bowls of chili,

Seven pints of coleslaw,

Six chocolate milkshakes,

Five onion rings,

Four Egg McMuffins,

Three Biggie Fries,

Two Happy Meals,

and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the tenth day of Christmas,

My drive through gave to me:

Ten baked potatoes,

Nine polish hot dogs,

Eight bowls of chili,

Seven pints of coleslaw,

Six chocolate milkshakes,

Five onion rings,

Four Egg McMuffins,

Three Biggie Fries,

Two Happy Meals,

and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,

My drive through gave to me:

Eleven pounds of blubber,

Ten baked potatoes,

Nine polish hot dogs,

Eight bowls of chili,

Seven pints of coleslaw,

Six chocolate milkshakes,

Five onion rings,

Four Egg McMuffins,

Three Biggie Fries,

Two Happy Meals,

and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,

My drive through gave to me:

Twelve bags of Pepto,

Eleven pounds of blubber,

Ten baked potatoes,

Nine polish hot dogs,

Eight bowls of chili,

Seven pints of coleslaw,

Six chocolate milkshakes,

Five onion rings,

Four Egg McMuffins,

Three Biggie Fries,

Two Happy Meals,

and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

:)

Its the time of year

Now that Spring is in the air

When those two wet gits with their girly curly hair

Make another song for moronic holidays

That nauseate-ate-ate

In a million different ways

From the shores of Spain

To the coast of Southern France

No matter where you hide

You just can't escape this dance

Hold a chicken in the air

Stick a deckchair up your nose

Buy a jumbo jet

And then bury all your clothes

Paint your left knee green

Then extract your wisdom teeth

Form a string quartet

And pretend your name is Keith

Skin yourself alive

Learn to speak Arapahoe

Climb inside a dog

And behead an eskimo

Eat a Renault Four with salami in your ears

Casserole your gran

Disembowel yourself with spears

The disco is vibrating

The sound is loud and grating

Its truly nauseating

Let's do the dance again

<img src="http://www.clipartbest.com/cliparts/jix/zEL/jixzEL6iE.jpeg" alt="Seasons Greetings" height="80" width="100"> <img src="http://www.clipartbest.com/cliparts/jix/zEL/jixzEL6iE.jpeg" alt="Seasons Greetings" height="80" width="100"><img src="http://www.clipartbest.com/cliparts/jix/zEL/jixzEL6iE.jpeg" alt="Seasons Greetings" height="80" width="100"><img src="http://www.clipartbest.com/cliparts/jix/zEL/jixzEL6iE.jpeg" alt="Seasons Greetings" height="80" width="100"> <img src="http://www.clipartbest.com/cliparts/jix/zEL/jixzEL6iE.jpeg" alt="Seasons Greetings" height="80" width="100">

May God Bless You! by Bing Crosby

(love his whole Christmas album but this song in particularly:)

https://open.spotify.com/track/0yhhZyBQaRXudRo0x0CDzk

Snow Miser / Heat Miser (lol memories of a school musical:)

https://open.spotify.com/track/6K1JGsxdD9z420GUXkXzdI

There's No Place Like Home For the Holidays by Perry Cuomo

https://open.spotify.com/track/3T6Lsd2qR4nk92hwxJ5sBW

The Little Blue Bell by Brenda Lee

(not really rollicking fun but this song pulls at the heart:)

https://open.spotify.com/track/5AVW33dcis4fTBBZFeA1pQ

And I love hearing this Story of Silent Night...

https://open.spotify.com/track/3dnWJwrS3LAuZ83nnmFivL

<img src="http://www.clipartbest.com/cliparts/jix/zEL/jixzEL6iE.jpeg" alt="Seasons Greetings" height="80" width="100"> <img src="http://www.clipartbest.com/cliparts/jix/zEL/jixzEL6iE.jpeg" alt="Seasons Greetings" height="80" width="100"><img src="http://www.clipartbest.com/cliparts/jix/zEL/jixzEL6iE.jpeg" alt="Seasons Greetings" height="80" width="100"> <img src="http://www.clipartbest.com/cliparts/jix/zEL/jixzEL6iE.jpeg" alt="Seasons Greetings" height="80" width="100"><img src="http://www.clipartbest.com/cliparts/jix/zEL/jixzEL6iE.jpeg" alt="Seasons Greetings" height="80" width="100">

I heard this for the first time on the radio about two Christmases ago. It's a cute little country ditty by George Strait.

Chorus 1:

I sure do like those Christmas cookies sugar

I sure do like those Christmas cookies babe

The ones that look like Santa Claus

Christmas trees and bells and stars

I sure do like those Christmas cookies babe

Verse 1:

Now Christmas cookies are a special treat

The more she bakes the more I eat

And sometimes I can't get myself to stop

Sometimes she'll wait til I'm asleep

And she'll take the ones that I didn't eat

And put those little sprinkley things on top

Verse 2:

Now those sprinkley things just make things worse

Cause it makes em taste better than they did at first

And they're absolutely impossible to resist

Some disappear to who knows where

But I make sure I get my share

And those kids just stand there waiting for the ones I miss

Chorus 2:

I sure do like those Christmas cookies sugar

I sure do like those Christmas cookies babe

She gets mad if they're all gone

Before she gets the icing put on

I sure do like those Christmas cookies babe

Verse 3:

Now there's a benefit to all of this

That you might have overlooked or missed

So now let me tell you the best part of it all

Every time she sticks another batch in the oven

There's fifteen minutes for some kissin' and huggin'

That's why I eat Christmas cookies all year long

I couldn't readily find more than a school choir singing this song, so I figured I'd just type the lyrics as I remember them. I was born and raised in FL, so naturally all the snow and snowman songs didn't really resonate with us. Then, 3rd grade I think, our school did the song with a dress up santa on a skateboard and everything-- and I've seen it a few times since. As such my twin and I couldn't help singing it for our younger cousins here in Lynchburg, VA, where it does snow, pretty much every year. They love it and I'm sure you'll be amused by it too (at least.)

SKATEBOARDING SANTA

Let me tell you 'bout a Christmas not so long ago,

there was a mighty heat wave and not an ounce of snow.

The kids were shrug'n and a' shake'n their heads

at the weather that was better for swim'n than sleds--

And no one really knew what to do or say

'cuz Santa couldn't bring the presents in the usual way

When from out of the blue and from over a hill

there came a vision of speed and incredible skill

he sped around the corner 'cross the railroad track

with a sack full of toys thrown over his back

And the crowd began to hollar and the crowd began to cheer

'Cuz skateboarding Sata's bringing presents this year

//chorus// overlaping 1 & 2

1 - GOOOOO (hold 5 sec count) Santa-Go-Santa GOOOOO (hold 5 sec count)

Santa-Go-Santa GOOOOO Santa-Go-Santa GOOOOO

2 - Go-Santa, Go-Santa, Go-Stanta, Go... Go-Santa, Go-Santa, Go-Stanta, Go... Go-Santa, Go-Santa, Go-Stanta, Go... Go-Santa, Go-Santa, Go-Stanta, Go

And everybody's cheer'n as their watch'n him go

'cuz Santa's ride'n that skateboard just like a pro

He did freestyle combinations, every trick in the book

and he was rip'n the ramps without a second look

he did a 50/50 grind without take'n a fall

he did a fastplant over the hip to the wall

And we heard him exlaim, as he skated out of sight,

"Merry Christmas to all you skaters and to all a good night!"

//chorus// overlaping 1 & 2

1 - GOOOOO (hold 5 sec count) Santa-Go-Santa GOOOOO (hold 5 sec count)

Santa-Go-Santa GOOOOO Santa-Go-Santa GOOOOO

2 - Go-Santa, Go-Santa, Go-Stanta, Go... Go-Santa, Go-Santa, Go-Stanta, Go... Go-Santa, Go-Santa, Go-Stanta, Go... Go-Santa, Go-Santa, Go-Stanta, Go

And everybody's cheer'n as their watch'n him go

'cuz Santa's ride'n that skateboard just like a pro

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know that the original song ended as I have it above, but that's how my Twin and I have sung it for the last decade or so, so.. yeah. Hope you enjoyed!

As for a link you can listen to. My Twin and I, and a cameo of our younger brother Steel, sung almost 15 mins of christmas carols (with a few drinks) and emailed them to family in 2011. We're not singers but it's entertaining, I think. :-p

http://www.ravision.webs.com/Xmas2011.mp3

THE PLAY LIST

We Wish You A Merry Christmas - Check Your Email (w/ our brother Steel)

Jingle Bell Rock

Jolly Old Saint Nicholas

Santa Baby

Snow Flakes Falling

Dashing through the snow

Jingle Bells

Rudolph the Red Nosed Raindeer (w/ our brother Steel)

Sleigh Bells Ringing

Ve Vish You A Merry Christmas (accented actual version)

SkateBoarding Santa (around 10:50 in the stream)

I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas (we changed the order of the song a bit)

Silly Ender Blurb Song thing.. you can laugh!