You made me believe I was beautiful,

Like I was actually worth something.

You built me a wall confidence,

That I've never had before.

For a brief moment I was happy,

A rare second of delight.

Like I was in a dream

But then you woke me up.

I was just a puppet on a string,

A pawn in your chess game.

You took a sledgehammer to my wall

And tore me all apart.

You told me I would never be loved.

And I believed you.

My biggest regret was you.

I wink my eye kind of sly

as I profess to regret

the sins of my past.

My only repentance -

not imbibing enough

in temptations in the sip

of red wine in

afternoon delights.

I should’ve basked in

sea tumble of dreams

and stolen your heart

although you professed

to belong to another.

I could have returned it

somewhat used but still beating.

I regret not diving all surfaces

of lust and passion, heating

air in bouquets of lovers.

I bemoan slow spiral

to the end of my light

without caressing more days,

savoring more nights.

I should have whispered

in more ears and danced

more in rapture and joy

and followed crescent moon

Summer fades and darkness falls

I know now that I should

have done it all

but there still is time

to grasp what is mine

and die with self indulgence

in a life well lived.

Woke up

Head buzzing

Vision blurred

Rickety little cot

Five by seven cell

A little south of Laredo

Guard outside my cell

Spoke his Spanish

Just a little too rapidly

Either asking for my name

Or deciding on a prom dress

Busted upper lip

And a new tattoo on my chest

Name of a girl

I don't believe I have ever met

But whoever "Rosalina" is

I hope she appreciated the gesture 

Sandwiched between a snoring wino

And a murmuring junkie

Apparently intent on apologizing

To his beloved mother

And some nun from Durango

Missing my wallet

A cell phone

A cheap watch

A few molars

And my last few drops of memory

Hair greasy

Eyes bloodshot

Mind hazed

Pockets stuffed to the brim

With regrets I can't seem to remember

Wallowing in sweat

and self pity

Dreaming of a place

Far away from the

Streets of Laredo

I regret taking the time for them when I wasn't done fixing me.

I regret leading him on,

I regret telling her everything.

I regret letting him believe I could fix it,

I regret thinking I could.

I regret trying to fix it for her,

I regret making it worse for myself.

I regret leaving him the way I did,

and not walking away forever.

I regret fighting her,

when I knew neither of us would ever win.

I regret letting them both have the power to break me still,

even though I've finished breaking them.

Asking you to join me should be my regret

Acknowledging your presence is another one

Recognizing your familiar face in the midst of everyone I know who don't know you.

Telling them I know you.

I should not regret those I know

I was in fact overjoyed when you arrived

I was so excited I 'll have a friend with the same beliefs as mine

I thought you were going to be my friend

I wanted you to be a friend 

I thought together we're going to harvest souls

But then I liked you.

From here all my plans started to fail

I should've not look at you that way

But I did

That's my greatest regret

Now  we're nothing at all

but familiar face to each other

Not even a prospect friend

That's my regret

Everything between us ended before it started

I never went to Rome,

Never ate a baguette

On a street corner, far from home.

I never watched the sunrise

With my feet in the sand,

I never raised my head to rainy skies.

I sat alone inside, paid my bills

And ate Ramen and canned peas

While my friends all headed to the hills.

There wasn't enough time,

There wasn't enough money,

I never spent a dime

More than I ever needed to.

Now it's almost over,

My hair is gray, I have one pair of shoes.

I saved it all, I stayed at home,

Where it was comfortable-

And I missed out on Rome.

There was a moment,

An inhale of breath,

That sparkled like dust motes

Made of dreams.

There was a whisper,

A sigh on the dance floor,

That swept through her eyes

Like a mirage.

There was a kiss,

An offering of life,

That met with silence

Like death.

There was a change,

A heart that found truth,

That shone like stars

Made into reality.

There was a silence,

A void in the light,

That gathered within him

Like broken mirrors.

There was a word,

An ending of hope,

That showed what she'd given

Made into regrets.

There was a moment,

A rush of remorse,

That left him abandoned

Like her memories.

I should have gone into zoology.

I should have lemurs sitting on my shoulders in Madagascar.

Instead, where I live and what I do relies on finding esoteric, isolated work.

Instead of discovering nature, wilderness, and primitive, soul-enriching aesthetics,

I've sold off my autonomy.

One bad, naive decision leaves me forever unfulfilled.

She was beautiful 

The way she looked at me, her eyes dazzled like Galileo's, looking towards the stars 

Her smile made even the darkest days Seem bright 

Her Love was like no other, it extended from mind body and soul 

  So why did I leave her? 

She was beautiful

But my eyes did not dazzle when I saw her 

My smile was forced not meant 

I did not love her, I was too young and I took her for granted

Till this day... This is my greatest regret.