Deep in my belly

Growing stronger each day

New life unwelcome, unwanted

Conceived out of rage,

Hatred becomes flesh

My living shame, forever bonded

The Devils own spawn

He's doing backflips in my belly,

Anxious to escape from within

My skin is stretched taut

My body has been hijacked

I pay the price of someone else's sin

A poor choice for a mother

Look at my record

My son is living reckless and wild

And I barely remember

To care for myself

How will I care for a child?

As the Bad Baby grows

My body has changed

Morphing with the evil one inside

It's a mean, bitter feeling

Taking over my thoughts

Tempting as I consider suicide

Thinking of my death

I'm quickly punished

Inside there's a sharp, painful kick

I have no more secrets

Bad Baby knows them all

Every fucked up way my brain ticks

His power increases

At my expense

He's a bloodsucking leech, a parasite

Feeding my anger

While compounding my fear

His force of will is stronger than my fight

I lose more of myself

Everyday I don't fight

My mind inches a bit farther from sane

The Darkness arrives

With an icy sneer for a smile

Suddenly I'm doubled over in pain

Hours of torture

My body screams in protest

I'm being torn apart limb by limb

Finally he's out

This demon spawn from hell

And the future is looking quite grim

I drank in his heat

and gave him my warmth

guzzled his rosy potions

blind to my fate.

I swallowed him whole

wings unfolded inside.

Insidious darkness

spilled twisted love

time bombs ticking

cold stone slab of my belly.

Frostbitten, forsaken

wires crossed

timed to explode.

Fingers of fear

knife blade fingernails

clawed my soul.

Wicked hands

smashed my bones

rendering shattered shards.

Slayer of truth

sinister hands of time.

Death lurking around corner

fetid breath stench,

wicked laugh, bitter taste.

Devil’s toilet bowl

spews sinister spawn

new generation,

budding within.

The feeling of dread intensifies

That little voice telling you that you can't.

It lies dormant within us all

Awaiting an inevitable fall.

From the greatest of speakers to the average joe on the streets

We all have this monster growing inside

Especially in me

It gnaws away at your innards

Scratches away your dreams

Making every fall much harderAnd more painful than it needs to be.

If I were more concerned

With what it was

I wouldn't be a slave

To the chains of the laughter

The false reflection of the 

Mirror 

I care too much

For far too often

About what it does

Could do

Did

Than what it is

Perhaps that's why it eats me

Raw like an apple

Shiny and enticing

Then like the serpent

Offered to innocence

And destroyed more than humanity

What is it?

It is rather complicated 

But to me rather simple

The reason why I never worried

Or wandered what it was

Is this

It was me. 

Me growing within me

Not some demon

Some ghoul with a motive

But me

And that, dear children

Is what horror is not all about.