I play Skyrim,

Acting like I'm not lonely even though there is nobody around to prove it to.

I turn on old classic movies and pretend Ingrid Bergman or Marlon Brando is just having a conversation with me.

I even start talking to my dog.

But as soon as the being alone sets it....

Someone comes home.

recite poetry aloud

turn the music up

light all the candles I can find and promptly blow them out

watch dumb tv shows

sleep

snoop through my mother's jewelry box

paint my nails

mope

Turn the tv off and listen to the musical sounds of quietness and it's so crazy because if you actually listen closely silence has a sound and if you listen even closer you can hear your heart beat playing as your personal soundtrack to the weird little episode your having called listening to silence

The one moment in my life I don't turn on the tv......

I just sit and allow myself to exist in the solitude.

An occasional draft of wind sweeps the curtains from it resting place.

The clouds have nestled above my suburbia town......it's gray outside....but it's not.

I am as alone as I feel.

The quiet room blast empty creeks.

I think of the kids at school and wonder about dinner.

I imagine what it would be like if it were always this way,

I'm instantly sad.

As peaceful as this "alone" is.....I'm grateful this is temporary!