Adrift in a sea of longing,

rudderless and without direction.

Trying to stay afloat

amidst the relentless winds and currents

whipping the crests into a frenzy.

At the mercy of the nautical tempest,

in a fruitless battle to maintain control,

I’m losing sight of the sheltered harbor

that was my refuge from this upheaval

brought on by the forced solitude

when you left me.

Pull me close and let me taste you,

Swallow me in your arms,

Shield me from the world around us.

Let it just be us again,

Dancing in the dark slowly

As the world burns around us.

Are you there?

The tide is coming in

But I’ll cross it

For you

Let me hear your voice

I’m at the river’s edge

My foot

Then my leg

The current is strong

And now I’m wading

Through the sins

Of my past

There’s something sharp

Snapping

Below the water

But I can’t see

Then the river turns red

Are you there?

On the other side

Cause I can take the pain

If you’re waiting

With your arms open wide

The tide is getting stronger

And the pain is

Worse

As I cross

The bloody river

It rises

To my chest

And it’s nearly over

My head

I’m drowning

Then my hand grasps

At dirt

The river’s edge

I pull myself out

But I still can’t hear you

Baby, I’m here

I crossed the bloody river

Through the thick brush

I push through

Where are you?

On the other side

I see a clearing

And I hope its you

But it’s another river

I hang my head

And I cross it

Until it turns red

I can’t hear your voice

But I’ll keep searching

Across the bloody rivers

Through the sins

Of my past

Below the murky depths of the vast untamed blue-green lie some of this world's greatest mysteries. The ocean herself is a mystery that a sailor can only admire but never comprehend. Lives are lost and lives are found on this wild frontier. Spend time with any seafarer and they will speak hateful things of the sea, but then out of the same mouth comes forth a fondness for her. Sunken ships in centuries past are surrounded by folklore and mystery, but perhaps overlooked is the greatest mystery of all. She calls, the salty breeze with her rhythmic crashing of waves, she calls. Like the sailor who wants nothing more than to go to shore, but once on land finds the need to return to sea. What causes this sudden change of heart? What is it about her that calls to us?

Immortal, she never dies. She is a mystery never to be explained.

I went to the shore of your longing and gave you parts of myself that you have seen but not known.

First I gave you my eyes.

That you could see the depths of blue and the wholeness yet emptiness that fill my days.

Next, I gave you my ears. So you could hear the undertone of meaning in every human’s voice-their true desire.

I then came and gave you my hands, so you could feel how skin, seemingly malleable, is also unyielding and cages a soul.

My mouth was next. I wanted you to shape and taste the pleasure of my thoughts but with that, the pain too. The sharp bite of what can come after pleasure.

Lastly, I gave you my feet. I wanted you to feel how the Earth moves with me and not always against.

But all you could ask was, “What else?”

And to that I wept,

and was no more.

Buried alive.

Smash.

Too late for a grab.

Unmarked tombstone soaked in memories.

Last request,

Last call.

Coming alive again.

Glass shattering.

Sinking in watered down quicksand.

Grabbing onto spinning tombstone.

Raining.

Straining head above ground for a last call quench.

Last crawl for alcohol.

Resuscitating on the shortest straw.

A sinking barstool.

Feet drop.

Morning light hanging above head.

A light bulb dim.

Hazy idea.

Stay or leave.

Feet on the ground.

Too weak to push back up.

pink umbrellas and lemon trees growing in my mind.

Getting dark.

Closing time again.

Swatting barflies

Induced

Seduced.

Bar stool spins

A quick leak.

Glass half empty.

Morning optimist.

Glass half empty.

Lights getting brighter.

Glass half full.

Still an optimist.

Bar tab expired.

Nursing and cursing.

Evening ending.

Thirsty again.

.