And.

First and foremost, I'm not working. I'm not obligated to do anything, and I don't really care if it makes me a bad person. That aside, you can do both.

If there's anything about a survival choice, I'm doing both. I'm telling them what I'm noticing and what it means as it's happening. But I'm not giving up either. As a healthcare provider, I take care of people in every way I can. In this moment, the child is a lost patient, but the distress and crisis the parents are in are something I can do something about. Telling them to calm down obviously won't do much, but if they see me do everything I can possibly do, the outcome will be easier to cope with later.

Besides the 'could've kept trying' that might come after the fact, sometimes miracles happen, and until I've exhausted all my options I wouldn't be able to say I've done my best. No one in healthcare should be there if they don't want to try their best; even though I started with that bit about being off duty, you don't half ass it. Do or don't.

I don't spare them the truth. It makes me look like a bad, incompetent nurse, which I am not. It does nothing to spare them the hour. They have lost their child, and that's permanent. One hour won't make a difference. And I'm an excellent nurse.

I don't stop trying. I'd do everything physically possible to try. You never know. If it were me or my child, I'd want to see someone do the absolute most to get them breathing again, whether that's all for nought or not. It's the thought that counts?

If you do all you can, there isn't anything to regret. There's nothing to regret, there was nothing else to do.

My question now is, what the hell is my spouse doing?