Someone once told me that life is like seasons. Sometimes the winter can last for years, it's so cold and dark that even getting out of bed seems pointless, an endless struggle.

But if you just keep going eventually you'll see the sun again because the summer always comes eventually.

“ Don‘t cry” they say, as if I could help it. As if you knew what was going on in my head. For if you really did know, that is not a phrase you would be saying. What if I told you I was on the verge of suicide? What if I said all I wanted was a knife? Then you would avoid telling me not to cry. No, you’d say that it would all get better. Then take me to a mental hospital. So don’t ask me to spill my soul or tell you all my secrets. For I know that you wont return the favor by asking what would help me. Of course not you’ll try your hardest to get rid of me.

Hello World, have you had your booster jabs,., Have you kept a respectful distance.

Do you still break-up families for spite?

Can you sleep at nights.

Can you all visit your families.

Mask -up and start behaving in a legal manner.

There is a higher power monitoring, ill-actions.

Peace to all mankind.

This is the first time in my life that I have everything I want! I can feel your love about me and how you actually are one of those rare people who loves me how I am outside and inside and you deal with it, mostly at my 5 years old play time character (lol). But even now, I still feel a bit scared of losing you!

I loved this one time when I saw you relaxed and happy! You actually that day showed me your greatest and more adorable side of yours and I couldn't but to fall in love more with you. Something I didn't say to you but here it is, now you know it.

It's crazy how we have a strong connection with each other, like we both feeling they way each other feels. I remember the first time you weren't feeling good and I was having attacks inside me, trying to make you feel better but then you said something that I never expected. You said " I saw how you panicked and didn't know what to do to help but the fact that you hugged me, means a lot more to me and made me feel of how much you love me and thank for being there with me." . So I cried when I saw that message, I felt so so loved.

So whenever we hug, kiss, touch, I feel a little bit closer to you! Yes my fears will stay there and won't go but I will show them the exit sign. I know I am making you sad most of the time with what I say but I believe I can work on that. Only do it because I had a bad past and my trust to people fell down and I know you can't understand me but going forward, everything will disappear.

Do you remember that one time where we were on the couch and you told me to lay on our chest? That was the first time I was experience it and I loved it so bad, especially when you were kissing my forehead or your hand caressed my cheek and hair.

You know, you really have a special place in my heart and I thank you for every beautiful moment and first times you gave me so far and I wish for more to come! I keep falling in love with you so hard.

You have my heart in your arms! Please do not let my heart fall cause then it will turn into pieces.

Your,

Your baby girl!