fighting for breath.

my lungs are filled with

salt water,

brackish and cold.

constriction,

constritcting,

constricted.

as the world

fades to grey

i wonder

why

i

am

betraying

myself.

I never let you breath

I didn’t know it

but you also never told me

Forgive me son

My parenting only crippled you

I only wanted the best for you

I-

I failed you, me, and everyone

I’m figthing to keep my breath but

The demons at my door won’t go away

Now more then ever

your screaming shatters my ears and soul

Who’s suffering more?

Is it me

or you?

Who has the power to forgive?

Do I forgive me?

Do you have to forgive me?

I can’t breathe

not when my lungs are burnt out

Not when my only son is dying

Not when I’m worthless

Yet-

Yet, I still want to live