With this little pill, you'll be the envy of all your friends and a chronic nuisance to your wife, who would love to have a day - JUST ONE CRUMMY DAY - free of your sexual pestering.

Side effects may include boasting, strutting and peacocking in the locker room of your country club. If your erection lasts for more than 4 hours, you'll want to contact your doctor right after you call all of your old fraternity brothers. Blindness may occur but you won't care as long as you're gettin' some.

So next time your mind is writing a check your hoo-hah can't cash, go See Alice. You'll be a stand-up guy again in no time.