what if we never had English together

and you never got seated next to me

what if I never wrote with sharpie on your arm

or forced you to climb up that tree

I would have never loved so hard

that the world itself seemed to fade away

yet my heart would still be strung together

rather than it's current state of disarray

what if you never asked me to love you

and I didn't willfully comply

would I now know what it is to trust someone

instead of to always assume they lie

I would never have hated so much

that it consumed me for so long

yet not knowing you would mean not knowing me

and how the hurt has made me strong

If I never met you, I wouldn't know what it's like to have some value my opinion. You are the first person to ever hear my words and care about their meaning.

If we never met, I would still believe that love doesn't exist. That it belongs in the romance novels and books that I adore, but not in the real world.

If I never met you, I wouldn't be addicted to your prescence. You have the ability to make me happy in a second, laugh when I'm mad, and feel safe when I'm anxious.

If I never met you, I wouldn't have realized that you can love someone who hurt you. And that sometimes, love can't hold on.

If we never met, I wouldn't've had to say goodbye.

I wouldn't know what it's like to have someone live in your brain. Even when I did everything in my power to forget you, you still remained.

If we never met, I never would have talked to you again after those five long years.

I would have remained stagnant. My life frozen with only the darkness in my mind growing.

Because we met again, I was stirred back to life. Talking to you enabled me to move forward, it's what helped me let go of the past.

Since we met, I have learnt that a disagreement doesn't have to equal war, but rather, it can be a calm discussion, the two of us working towards a solution.

Because we met, I've gotten to know myself better, while also getting to know you.

Because we met, I no longer feel the need to run. I feel safe in your arms.

Because we met, I discovered that even if a love isn't right in the moment, it may be right in the future.

Because we met, I get to call you my boyfriend, my partner.

Now that we have met, I'm happier then I've ever been before. I still have my spouts of darkness, but just by existing you help reel me in.

We respect each others boundries, but are also there for each other. You allow me to speak my mind, and trust me with your thoughts.

You tease me until my heart's about to burst, but can still be serious when the time comes.

Because I met you,

I learnt how to love.

~To my Duck,

~From your Rose

You made my life better.

showed me what love was.

I think I'm starting to love you.

and I think you love me back.

if it wasn't for you,

where would I be?

without a friend.

Can I wear your shirts?

no, huh?

I'm too scared to ask.

but I think even if it wasn't love

I'd be a deep bond

a brotherhood.

you'd lend me your shirt.

but now that I think about it.

is it just friendship? or is it love?

if I hadn't met you I wouldn't know what it was.

do you know?

if it isn't,

I'm still glad I have you.