Sometimes I would call your name just to see your hair dance and eyes give me attention.

I swear that I loved you and tear up anytime you are mentioned.

It wasn’t your time, Champ. I could’ve done more to ease the pain in your joints.

The vet says you lived a long life and to be fair he made good points.

But he doesn’t know everything you’ve done for me, nor the comfort you brought.

There’s irony in your discomfort and how hard you must have fought.

I’m so sorry Champ, my decision was selfish, seemed easy, and made far too quick.

Your eyes showed plenty of life and this makes me feel sick.

Your golden hair danced like never before as I carried you in to the vet.

You were my brother, you were my friend, and that day is my biggest regret.

Oh the way you looked at me as that needle dug in your leg,

You were confused and betrayed, and soon to be dead.

I had no right to do what I did.

I convinced myself you were at your end.

But you weren’t. I’m sorry.

Run it till it's gone,

Enough is just too far,

The iron is so thick,

I'm shackled at this bar.

We're just sharks in a puddle,

Dangerous but weak,

The water is a vehicle,

It's coldest at the peak.

As the puddles dry,

They'll laugh at our struggle,

Beautiful and bizarre,

Evaporates so subtle.

A hundred-dollar bill,

Will buy you through heavens door,

Unlike all of this pocket change,

But a nickel weighs so much more.

Gradual suffocation,

As the water keeps so still,

Goldfish in an ocean,

Sharks with drying gills.

One day it won't be,

An umbrella in the gun,

The sharks will leave their puddles,

And the goldfish all will run.

Why must I lurk,

And the darkness win,

I play with your soul,

While it eats me within.

I promise it hurts,

I swear that I cry,

I know that I love you,

But I know that I lie.

I must check my phone,

I heard it's gentle vibration,

Nothing there I'm still all alone,

I guess it was a wishful sensation.

Maybe she's asleep,

Yes, I bet that's what it is,

So I'll just place it out of reach,

And try to rest my head.

Money food family wait,

I think I heard it again,

I'll get up and check, it is fate,

Surely she replied and hit send.

Nope, nothing, it is just in my head,

This time I power it down,

As I lay like a leaf in my bed,

In an infinite room of no sound.

Death now consumes my mind,

Those thoughts that are seldom shared,

I wonder if at the end of my time,

I'll still feel this alone and scared.

My mother is getting older,

This scares me even more,

I forget the last time I told her,

Of my love for her and adore.

I now discover my biggest fears,

And forget the petty worries,

Time with loved ones is dear,

And crushes are lived so shortly.