I close my eyes, and I see her.

In my mind’s eye,

My mother looks many years younger than when she passed away.

I delight at seeing her glowing face and her gorgeous blond hair.

She is smiling.

She exudes happiness and peace.

I am fascinated by the brightness in her eyes.

It’s evident that Spirit inhabits her being; I see it resting in her gaze.

I know that her old appearance, brought by years of deception and hardship

Was only hiding the truth,

I know that behind her tired face,

Her etheric form always shined strongly.

I sit with her quietly, and her presence feels new and unfaded.

We do not speak words, but our hearts understand our sacred dialogue.

In silence, we hold hands

Moved by grace as profoundly as we allow our core to be touched,

In silence, we sit

Embraced by this moment

In eternity.

I do not know my ancestors.

I don’t know whether they were mad pirates, wealthy Lords, and Ladies,

Talented blacksmith or the village banker?

I don’t know if, in the early morning, they tended to their flock of sheep and their garden.

Were they able to take charge of their daily affairs, or were they locked behind bars?

Most notably, were they happy?

I don’t know if their land was full of abundance and generosity.

Did their women feel loved and safe, and could their children run freely?

Were the elderlies cared for affectionately?

Was their God forgiving - humans require so much forgiveness!

How deep was the stirring moving their hearts and their bellies, informing them

When it was time to leave everything adored behind, families, friends, lovers,

And to embark on floating giants that would take them

Nearly halfway around the globe

To some foreign land inhabited by insects unknown.

Did they celebrate their departure with wine and a feast

Or they tiptoed at night under a moonless sky.

As they crossed the vast ocean, how many had to be laid down in her cold bed,

To rest along ancient sunken ships beaten by storms, meeting some unfortunate fate.

And when the lucky ones attained the new shores,

Were they relieved to set foot on unrecognized land,

Did the screeching of the seagulls sound familiar to them?

Did the scent of the earth remind them of their lost home?

After this long and tiring voyage,

When they finally were able to gather and sit around the fire, warm and dry,

Eating a piece of charred bird or wild pig,

Drinking beer from the small tin cups they had carried over,

Were they happy, at last,

Were they at peace, my ancestors?

It starts with a Bang.

A Big Bang

And it echoes long,

Reverberating through time and space

endlessly

The rippling waves of sound and good intention

meet the eardrum of my soul

arousing

I am ecstatic to come from the creation

elated to hold in me the seed of life

I close my eyes

And I meet my new beginning

The one born from the Master

The one that exists only for me

but comes from Everything

In awe, I welcome it.

In reverence for this life force, I bow.

I am touched all over,

My body and spirit

They just can't contain it all,

enraptured

they quickly create a dance

awakening the undulating snake in me

Climbing up my tree

Hissing at my brain

Guarding the heavenly highway devotedly

Connecting all beginnings to mine

and mine to all

timelessly.

You already achieved so much, Alex.

Educated under the tutelage of your uncle,

Always understanding the task at hand,

Formulating tactics and adapting to all,

Exploiting everything coming into your sight,

You caught them off guard, Alex, and negated any numerical advantages they might have had.

So early you proved your worth,

Always from the front,

Boldly leading with speed and precision.

Even at such a young age,

Alex, you already achieved so much.

Being a genius, you won everything,

Being insatiably ambitious, you wanted more.

You established your massive empire

And history was changed forever.

When your exuberant drinking habits disrupted your peace,

Frustration grew into exasperation,

Then anger took its course.

Your best friend’s mockeries, his subtle barbs,

This led to your immense regret

When your impulsive spear impaled his body.

Hear me,

You already achieved so much, Alex.

Having lived a full life.

In the city along the lower river,

When you took your last breath,

still young of an age,

When some febrile illness possessed your body.

You were a deadly force, Alex

In 340 BC,

You were a skilled murderer,

The great Macedonian King

So please explain

Why did you come back recently

Wasn’t that enough

All the conquering,

The never-ending violence?

Why did you walk in broad daylight

Into the Mall

Like a mad dynast

Carrying a most contemporary weapon

Something cold and new to hold in your soft computer hands

Repeating the same unbeatable game of execution,

Aiming at innocent and unlucky souls in search of various materials for pleasure

Falling down twenty-first-century style

This time

With modern speed and precision

Alex, please tell me why,

You had already achieved so much.

Look hard at the world, they said -

Generously, if you can

manage that,

but also boldly

because the world looks hard at you too.

When you watch their war stories,

And your stomach turns into a kiln,

Or your heart begins playing hopscotch,

When your throat crates your unspoken words,

And your whole body ignites itself against your will,

Then, you should close your eyes and not look at the world.

Instead,

Lower your pale curtains

And look hard within -

With a soft gaze first, if you can

do that,

Without hesitation,

as you would,

if you encounter an injured animal,

Walk gently and bend down to the world inside you

Take a soft look,

Peek around for a while

in the vast cave of your heart,

Calmly,

Uncover the sacred scrolls buried within its chambers,

Watch the words find their place,

Like children scurrying to their classrooms after recess

and humbly,

Listen to its chorus and let the healing begin.

So I tell you, me, the gray-haired woman,

Who loves all words and writers too,

Language springs from inside

A deep and ancient well

Born from forgiveness and freedom.

Its never-ending flow runs wild.

Look hard at your world,

Generously and boldly,

you can do that.