breath leaves my body as I try to think straight

behind the hurt is the thought

worthless

am I so worthless?

worthless

the word echoes

throughout my mind

worthless

not thinking about anyone

but herself

it's worthless

to try to understand

I'll be better today

I won't think of you once

I'll push it to the back

block it out

pretend

I'll pretend

I'll pretend to be better today

I'm choking on whispered lies

I can't seem to breathe

past the balled up emotion

in my throat

Silently suffocating

I should have noticed the signs

you just got out of a mental hospital for gods sake

It was right there in front of our faces

and still we were oblivious

but if I had an inkling

would I have stopped you?

I need to believe that I would

otherwise

It's my fault

I'm breakable but not yet broken

so don't treat me like I'm fragile

I'm a mess but I'm not in pieces on the floor 

not yet anyway

don't hold back

I'm not yet broken

I pictured you standing at the end of my bed

would I run toward you

or sprint away

terrified

Sitting outside in the green grass

creatures all around 

a butterfly flutters past

catching your eye

its paper-thin wings fighting against the breeze

Maybe that's why she chooses to be alone

because the world's never done anything for her

It's forgotten about the girl whose heart is being ripped into two sitting in the corner

it's forgotten about the tear stains on her cheeks 

the pain thats a daily reminder of her loss

maybe that's why she hides

she doesn't want to ever hurt again

she doesn't understand that it's inevitable

no way to avoid it

it's not escapable 

she could run and run and it'd always be right on her heels 

chasing her down