In the beginning there was only silence

Just a haunting note

Supposed to be a remedy, a prayer in our time of mourning

But I wasn’t ready to say amen

3 calls straight to voicemail

Until even stuttered hallelujahs are swallowed

In the pressing silence

Suddenly I am as alone

As you must have felt

When you swallowed those pills

Knocked back Xanax like some kind of savior

Taking communion in the holy stillness, of your own mausoleum

I bow my head

As imagine your face as I last saw it

I wonder for the first time

If you were lying

When you last said you were happy

If you lying

When i last asked if you were okay

And you said don’t worry

Because now here I am

Reciting the only prayers I know in a church

Lit by candlelight in the impossible emptiness of Midnight

So I’m reaching out to you

Pull you down from your holy cross

As if my love will be enough

To force the air back into your lungs

As if my faltering faith will be enough

To bring the life back into your eyes

And maybe then you will fall back into place

Beside me at this altar of life

Let me reach inside of your skin

And hold the fractured pieces of you together

They say suicide is a sin

But you don’t believe in God

And if I were to worship anyone it would be you

Lay my unworthy body at your feet and pray for forgiveness

Drink the blood of my sins and cry out

Dear God I need a miracle

Turn this holy water into wine

Resurrect this boy I once loved

For now he is all skin and bones

I digress

Make me clean

Set holy fires in my bones

Save me from what I will become

When you are gone

Please send me a sign,

And tell me,

Did it come to you in a sudden thought?

One moment you were breathing deep and slow

And next you were falling into the pit of your own mind?

Or did it wash over you like forgiveness

The sky of your thoughts fading into night?

And when my knees are bleeding like your wrists

At the altar of your sorrow

I will move on

Put misplaced faith aside and take you into my arms

Make a home for you inside these ribs

Gently guide you away from the grave you dug yourself

Fill the holes with truth 'stead of empty promises

Within these prayers

I beg of you

Beware of black holes

Your body is a temple

Crucifixion will not fill the emptiness in between your ribs

Will not make you holy

You are all that you have

Let the sharpness go

Breathe in and

Say it with me now,

Amen

Time is spinning farther and farther away

The clock glares as we tremble and shrink

Seconds into hours into days

Our skin will bleed ink

Try to hide in the spaces

Betwixt eleven and twelve, one and two

Futile attempts to escape the cold embrace

Paint our faces black and blue

And time is running out

Clock hands spinning in a forever dance

Like a girl in a skirt twisting about

Falling in love at a glance

Rain will fall at noon

And tonight the skies will run clear

The children come by the light of the moon

But there’s blood on their faces, and we’re cowering in fear

Bones shatter and crack, bruises mar imperfect skin

Look away from the clock’s forever sneer

We’ll dance a waltz with time till the end

It began, Ezra supposed, with the end of everything. The day every TV came to life with the news. The world was ending, chaos was coming. Fires raged across the land, storms crashed through forests, and earthquakes shook the earth. Then he met Alyx, who could quell the fire and anger that raged in his heart and calm the storms that crashed outside his window.

She isn’t standing in the rain when he meets her, it’s not a dark or stormy day, and the wind isn’t howling. Instead, the sky is blue, and the sun is reflecting off of the road Ezra is traveling down. He doesn’t know what makes him stop when he sees her standing on the side of the road. She doesn’t even have her thumb out, she’s just standing there, one hand shielding her eyes from the sun, and the other holding onto a worn duffel. Suddenly the passenger seat beside him has never felt so empty. Slowly, he presses onto the brake pedal and lets the car slide to a stop. Rolling down the window, he glances at her face, “Need a ride?” he asks.

“Depends, are you offering?” She snips, although the smile on her face suggests she is not as annoyed as her voice suggests. Faltering, he raises an eyebrow and pauses for a moment, considering,

“I’m Ezra,” he finally says, sliding over to the passenger seat to stick his hand out of the window. Cocking her head slightly she finally smiles, a grin bright enough to rival the sun, and reaches out to shake his hand.

“It’s nice to meet you, Ezra.” She says his name warmly as if trying out the feel of the words on her tongue. “My name is Alyx, could I hitch a ride with you?” He feels a smile of his own rise to his lips, awkward on his face because it feels like years since he last smiled.

“It would be my pleasure.” He leans over to open the door for her before sliding back into the driver’s seat. “You can just throw your bag in the back if you want.” He offers, hating the way his voice betrays the nervousness he is feeling. He waits until she is settled before shifting the car out of the park and easing back onto the road. Mentally, he forces himself to relax, focusing on letting all of his muscles loosen up as he picks up speed on the nearly deserted highway.

As they drive, and the sun falls lower and lower in the sky, the awkward silence falls away and they start to talk. They don’t speak about anything specific, just glossing over topic after topic as the time passes. It occurs to Ezra hours down the road that he should have asked where Alyx was heading. For a few minutes, he tries to convince himself to speak up. After a while, Alyx cut herself off, frowning at the pinched look on Ezra’s face. “What’s with the face? Do we need to stop or something?” She asks.

Sighing, he turns halfway to grin bashfully at her, “No, I just realized that I probably should have asked you where you were heading to.”

Smirking, she kicked both her feet up onto the dashboard, her bare toes wiggling in the sun.

“I didn’t have a destination in mind, so I guess you’re stuck with me.”

Rolling his eyes he pushes at her feet, “Get those nasty things off my car.” He jokes, before turning fully back to the road.

“I’m just kidding. I really don’t have anywhere to go, so whenever you want to drop me off―” she started, her voice serious now, until Ezra interrupted her.

“No, no, it’s fine, I was just making sure.” He swallowed, “I’m not headed anywhere in particular, so if you want you could travel with me for a while.” It occurs to him as he says it that he doesn’t even know this girl. She could be a serial killer for all that he knows! Still, as he says it he knows that it doesn’t matter. There is something special about Alyx, and for someone who has struggled with trust issues since he left home, this is what his sister, Cas, would call major progress.

Night falls quickly, and after a while, the empty road and tall trees give way to farmlands and eventually, a small town. They pass a small rickety sign that reads “Welcome to Melville: Pop. 479” As they drive slowly down the road into town, an old diner, a tiny bookstore, and a rundown gas station come into view. As if his stomach is attached to his eyes, it growls on cue as they approach the diner. Laughing, Alyx grins, “We should stop anyway, it’s been awhile and I could use a break.” Responding in the midst of her laughter.

“A break?!” He shouts in mock outrage, “I’m the one who’s been doing all of the work!” Still, he pulls into the parking lot and slowly brings the car to a complete stop. Opening the door, Ezra pulls himself out into the humid South Carolina air. Running his hands through his hair, he stretches as the passenger door opens and Alyx climbs out. Shaking her own hair, she turns to him, “Ready?” She asks.

“After you.” He responds, holding the door open for her with a flourish. Ducking in after her, Ezra sighs as the air conditioning washes over them.

“Welcome to Mel’s!” An old woman steps out from behind the counter, wiping her hands on a towel as she meets them halfway. “Y’all can sit anywhere y’all want to.” Glancing at each other they move towards a table in the corner and slide into either side. The woman comes over and places a couple of worn menus onto the table. “Hey y’all, I’m Mel and I’ll be takin’ care of y’all tonight. What can I get to drink for y’all?” Ezra squirms uncomfortably under her gaze as he considers what he wants to drink.

“Can I get a root beer please?” Under the table, Ezra grips his hands together tightly, forcing himself to relax. As if she senses his discomfort, below the table Alyx gently brings their feet together as she smiles sweetly at him before briefly turning her attention back to Mel.

“I’ll have the same thing.” She says brightly.

“Sure thing, I’ll have those right out.” Mel turns on her heel and ducks back into the kitchen.

“I’ve never actually had root beer, is it something I should look forward to?” Alyx inquires, bringing Ezra out of his thoughts.

“You’ve never had root beer? It’s only the best drink ever! It’s the best when it’s served in the original bottle.” All thoughts of his past are pushed to the back of his mind as Mel brings out two root beers, served in the bottle just like Ezra had described. Smiling, Mel sets an old fashioned bottle opener on the table, before she returns to the kitchen. “Wait a minute, I have an idea, just hold on a second.” Jumping up, Ezra turns and hurries out of the diner. It only takes a few minutes before he is rushing back in with an object in hand. Cocking her head, Alyx raises her eyebrows at him.

“What is that?” She asks suspiciously. “It’s a polaroid camera.” He responds, as his breath comes in quick gasps.

“Did you walk too fast?” Alyx asks jokingly as she waits for Ezra to get his breath back. He doesn’t respond to her comment except for pulling a grouchy face, before gesturing at her to take a sip. “Well go on then!” Rolling her eyes she grins, taking hold of the bottle and tipping it back into her mouth. As she swallows her eyes fly open just in time to catch the flash of the camera. Ezra grins so hard he feels like he couldn’t smile anymore if he had to. “Oh my god!” Alyx gasps, her voice filled with wonder as she gulps down more of the soda. Laughing Ezra pops the top off of his own bottle and raises his glass in the air.

“To new experiences.” He says. Grinning, she raises her bottle to clink it together with his.

After they drink in unison, she raises her drink, “To root beer!” Laughing they knock their bottles together and drink again.

“To making new friends,” Ezra starts,

“And finding each other.” Alyx finishes. Their smiles are sweeter as they lean forward once again, grinning at the satisfying sound the bottles make.

Mel comes back and takes their orders before leaving them to their own devices with strict instructions to call her if they need anything. “Why do you have a camera anyway? Alyx wonders aloud, still sipping at her drink. Running his fingers through the condensation that had gathered on the outside of his, he bites his lip thoughtfully.

“I bought it on impulse one day, but I didn’t really have anything or anyone to photograph. Alyx hums thoughtfully,

“You could’ve taken some wicked tree photos,” Rolling his eyes, he responds with a few quiet words.

“Trees are made to be written about and listened to.” Flushing he shakes his head slightly, “Sorry.” he laughs away the awkwardness of the moment. “So what do you think, is root beer a keeper?” Grinning he watches as she wrinkles her nose at him,

“Of course! I might never drink anything else again!” Before he can respond Mel appears again, this time carrying their food orders.

“Alrighty, so I have a greek chicken panini for lover boy over here, and the chicken sandwich for you missy. Ezra blushed once again at the pet name as Mel addresses them. “I’ll go get y’all some refills―” She is cut off by the sudden sound of thundering as rain begins to pour down from the sky. For a second they all stare as the torrential rain pounds against the windows before Mel turns away and heads back toward the kitchen, muttering angrily about The End and its dang weather patterns all the way. Ezra turns away and opens his mouth to comment when he sees the look on Alyx’s face. Frowning he reaches out to touch her hand. The look on her face is slightly pained, her lips pursed, and he would do anything to put her bright smile back onto her face. Slowly he touches one of her hands gently, abruptly she jerks back around to face him, and for a moment the look on her face truly terrifies him, but after a moment it is gone, and in its wake a type of bone-deep fatigue is left behind. She forces a smile onto her face and picks up her sandwich. He frowns at the fake smile, she has a good one, almost as good as his, which means she must have had time to perfect it, just like he had. Sighing he resolves to think about it later after he has eaten.

After they finish eating, they take turns using the restroom before they leave. When Mel comes over to bring the check, which Alyx insists on paying for, Ezra glances out of the window at the storm before turning towards Mel.

“Is there anywhere close to here that we could stop for the night?” Ezra asks.

“Well, there is a little place a few blocks down Main Street that you can stay in. My friend Ellie and her husband run the place.” She answers.

“Awesome.” Ezra mutters as he leans down to pick up the napkin he dropped on the ground. He stays down there for a few seconds, letting his head clear, and trying to calm his breathing. Above him, he can hear Alyx and Mel speaking, but their voices sound garbled and far away like he’s underwater. Shaking his head to clear away the cobwebs that seem to stick between his ears, he pulls himself back up, closing his eyes briefly as his head spins.

“Ezra? Are you alright?” Alyx’s voice brings him back to the present. Opening his eyes he smiles at her,

“Would it be okay if we stopped for the night? I don’t particularly want to drive in a storm like that.” He says as he slides out from the booth. Laughing Alyx replies,

“Yeah, I think that would be best.” Together they head towards the door.

“Ready?” Ezra grins, closing his hand around the door knob.

“Thanks for everything Mel!” Alyx shouts back in the restaurant, before turning to face Ezra. “You know it. On three?” She asks.

“One...two…” Ezra says, his smile breaking through, “Three!” They shout together as Ezra yanks the door open. Bolting through the door they hurry through the storm. Struggling to unlock the car while simultaneously laughing his head off and being poured on, Ezra finally manages to get the door open and the car unlocked. They both jump into the car, still cackling, as they stop to catch their breath. After Ezra finally gets himself under control he turns in his seat to look for the bag of towels and toiletries he keeps in the backseat. He pulls two towels from it and hands one to Alyx, who is still chuckling, before reaching up to dry his own hair. After they’re both sufficiently dry, Ezra turns the car out of the small parking lot and makes his way carefully down the road until he spots a small motel. The sign on the lawn states brightly that it is “Ellie’s home for Wanderers.” Pulling in, Ezra pulls an umbrella from the back before he hops out of the car. He quickly walks around to the other side so that Alyx can get out under the umbrella too. They hurry out of the rain and into the warmth of the building’s lobby. It only takes a few minutes to get checked in and given a room. Ezra had been hesitant about asking for only one room, but Alyx had smiled and bumped her shoulder against his playfully. They take turns with the umbrella to get their stuff from the car as they settle into the room. There are two beds, and Ezra takes the one closest to the door. He curls up on his bed as Alyx showers, shifting in and out of consciousness. His mind relaxes under the sound of the heavy rain and Alyx moving around in the bathroom. That night as they lay in their beds Alyx sleepily murmurs to him “G’night Ezra, thanks for everything, today has been a really good day.”

Smiling softly, Ezra feels his whole body warm, “Yeah?” He asks biting his lip, afraid any other words will betray how incredibly happy that makes him feel.

“Yeah.” She murmurs in response.

“Good night Alyx.” Ezra says warmly, his body and mind feeling as though they're finally in sync. They fall asleep facing each other still smiling.

Months pass, and they slowly learn to be together. Neither of them brings up the possibility of Alyx leaving, or of Ezra wanting space again. Together they travel the country, experiencing new things together. On a whim, they buy a small scrapbook from a no-name store in Vermont, inside they keep pictures, lists of mountains conquered, and memories they never want to forget. The weather associated with “The End” settles down. There are still freak storms and tornados that wipe clean through fields and towns alike, but the number of deaths decreases. For the first time in his life, Ezra felt truly happy. As always, everything changed with a kiss and the events that followed.

It actually is raining this time, just summer rain that sweeps through the little Californian town they are holed up in. The room is nicer than normal due to some extra money Alyx’s family sent her earlier that week. Flicking through the tv channels Ezra sighs, smiling at the familiar sounds of Alyx’s nighttime routine. The shower shuts off, and after a few minutes, Alyx emerges looking warm in her pajama pants and one of his own shirts. “How do my clothes keep ending up in your bag?” he asked, voice warm and happy.

“I don’t know, maybe my clothes just aren't as comfortable as yours.” Smirking she climbs into his bed shoving at him. “Move over you big goon,” Grumbling good-naturedly he moved over, sighing contentedly as she curls up next to him. He wraps an arm around her and presses his cheek into her hair. “Do normal friends cuddle in hotel rooms?” She asked, stabbing her fingers into his side.

“Who says we’re friends?” He retorts.

“Yeah, who says?” She murmurs back, she tilts her chin back to smile at him. Ezra falters and stares down into her face. Memories flash before his eyes. Alyx’s face after trying root beer for the first time, her feet propped up on the dash, her smile bright as the sun, their feet twisted together under table after table. Suddenly he can’t stand the distance between them, love for her spreads through his entire body, leaning forward he tentatively kisses her. She stills beneath his arm, before slowly kissing him back. Seconds, minutes, hours later, they pull apart.

“Ezra.” Her voice is quiet and a little broken. “I can’t, I can’t do this unless you know the truth.”

Ezra freezes, “Alyx?” His voice wavers as her name leaves his lips.

“Just let me do this ok?” She waited until he nodded, biting her lip, she pulls away and sits up. “I was born on a planet, my family, my people, aren’t human. Years ago, we were in a war. A number of us escaped, but our family members, our fathers and mothers were dying, we were never going to win. So we ran, and when they didn’t catch up with us, we just kept running. For years the remainder of our population fled, but we couldn’t run forever. So we came here, and hid among your people. Unfortunately, us reaching the Earth damaged the Earth’s equilibrium, which set off what you call "The End” Ezra’s breathing stutters, but he doesn’t say anything, just blinks at her. “It was only a matter of time before we died. All of us.” Tears swell in her eyes, “So we ran, and decided that we would spread out across the Earth and at the end of 3 years we would come back together and escape to another planet.” Swallowing Ezra reaches out to touch her hand.

“Alyx, is this true?” He asks, his head tilting forward to meet her eyes.

Alyx is crying freely now, “Yes,” She ducks her head as the tears trail down her cheeks. Looking at him slowly she curls a hand around his arm. Warm flows through his veins and he watches in amazement as a galaxy is etched into her skin. After a few moments she releases him and lets her skin fade back to its normal color.

“How long until the three-year mark?” His voice is kind, not betraying the utter fear that he feels.

“One month.” She looks up, meets his eyes and is taken aback by the kindness and love that shines in his eyes.

“This doesn’t change anything you know. You’re still the same Alyx that has been with me since May. I still love you,” He closes his eyes as his voice breaks a little. “I haven’t been as happy as I am with you since I was 6 years old. Not when I left home for good, and not when I bought the car, none of those feeling compare to how I feel right now, here, with you. It’s going to be hard yeah, but I’ll be whatever you need me to be, for as long as you need it.” He squirms uncomfortably as she stares at him, before she opens her mouth,

“Even if that means letting me go in a month?” She worries her bottom lip as she waits to hear the answer.

“Even if it means letting you go.” This time, his voice breaks because he’s crying. She surges forward to kiss him even when tears are streaming down both of their faces and the angle is awkward.

They stay holed up in that California town for another week, wrapped up in each other as the time ticks ominously towards the day they are both dreading. They pack up in near silence, and other than to ask what general direction to head in, they don’t talk about the event that is unfolding. Time passes quickly as they drive towards Texas. At night, they curl up together and tell stories about their pasts. Ezra wraps his hands around hers and tells her about the monster he calls a father, and the sisters that made up the only real family he ever really had. Alyx kisses his knuckles and tells him about space, about the stars, planets, and comets that existed right outside of her window. In a field in Arizona Alyx shows Ezra what it’s like to walk on thin air and hold a fire in his hands. Ezra teaches Alyx how to listen to the secrets the trees tell, and in return, Alyx sings him one of her family’s old folk songs. They wear flower crowns and write down every single bad thing in their lives, only to let the list float away into a river minutes later. The days in July start to dwindle, and they are solemn as they cross the Texas border and draw closer to Marietta Texas. They spend the night in the warmth of a bed and breakfast on the outskirts of town. Outside, wind howls powerful enough to rattle the window frames and leave them both trembling beside each other under the same blankets. Ezra wraps an arm around her, “Everything is going to be okay. I just need you to know before you go―”

Alyx interrupts him, “Ezra, please don’t, I just want us to be here, tonight, together.” Sighing, Ezra shakes his head.

“Please Alyx, I need you to know this, before tomorrow.” When she nods he continues. “When I picked you up on the side of the road, you didn’t know about any of the beautiful things this world had to offer. You only knew the more painful parts that we had, and I was the same way. I was set on running away from my past. I didn’t have a future, and I was so angry at the world I could barely function. When we met each other we gained a purpose. So here’s what I’m going to say, you do what you need to do tomorrow, but remember this, you gave me a reason to keep living. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, or whoever you are with, always remember that I love you more than anything else in this entire world, remember the memories we shared, and the mountains we climbed. Know with your entire heart that this Earth loves you and that I will always keep you right here.” He takes their joined hands and presses them to his chest right over his heart.

The sun rises just like every other day. The car rumbles across the asphalt as they pull up to a nondescript building just inside the city limits. Ezra manages to put the car into park despite his madly shaking hands. Alyx turns to him, and he searches her eyes for a clue to what she is feeling. The car is silent as she leans forward and presses a kiss to his forehead. Nothing is said as she turns away and opens the door. It slams shut behind her, but she doesn’t look back as she walks away from everything they had, from everything they made, and enters the building.

He sits outside in his car, back rigid as he waits. Hours pass, and no sign comes from inside. He doesn’t move, afraid that if he breathes too heavy, or moves too quickly the spell will break and she will disappear, like a wisp of smoke in the air. The sun begins to fall lower and lower in the sky, the air turning to ice around him as night falls. Against his will he starts to fall asleep, the seconds between blinks grows longer and longer, until he jerks awake. The sound of a door opening sounds in the distance. He is too scared to turn around, too afraid that the sound of footsteps was a product of his own wishful thinking, too frightened that the sound of his name falling from that familiar mouth was nothing but a memory. Then his door is opening, and she is there pulling him out of the car. She is crying, and he is touching and hugging her. This is real, she is real, and his world is no longer shattering around him. Gasping, he runs his fingers over her face, tracing the lines he thought were lost to him forever. Her name falls from his lips over and over. The next few minutes are a blur. He doesn’t know how long they stand there, and he isn’t quite sure how they let go of each other long enough to climb back into the car, but he does know this: on July 31, he puts his car into gear and hits the gas pedal; he peels away from Marietta, Texas, and hand in hand with his best friend and the love of his life, drives towards a future carved in gold and lit by starlight.

Hello looks a lot like daisies

You fell in love with him under a June blue sky

Fingertips were stained

In the artificial blues and reds

Of a summer afternoon

Your eyes grew to love the burn

Of the sun reflecting from his eyes

Your skin craved

His dirt stained, tequila spotted

Fingers, carefully holding

Your thin bones together

At night you painted your nails

The deep purple of the sky and

Slicked your lips in poppy red polish

His cheekbones sliced through your flower-petal walls

Under the glaring July sun

He took your hand and stood facing the horizon

Your retinas burned at the sight of him

And his careless smile

But somewhere along the path

Dripping in summer golds and morning glory pinks something changes

Because now a bouquet of Marigolds

Stands where he should’ve been

He says it’s okay

Under an August moon

But there are lilies where his hands used to be

And daffodils where his lips used to kiss you

You forget the exact color of his eyes

In the sunlight

In the morning you paint your nails

The light purple of the Lavender he left you

But sunflowers won’t replace his hands on your skin

Or his voice in your ear

And flowers won’t fix the holes he left behind

They leave each other under a September sky

Fingertips are still stained

In the colors of one another

But you deserve better

Than empty promises and peonies

Left with only a mouthful of flowers

As it turns out, goodbye looks a lot like roses

Today, I don’t want to be a poet

Because poetry is

Love like melted chocolate

Sinking into the hard to reach

Cracks and crevices of the things that make a person human

Is galaxy eyes and

Wish I was sober Saturday nights

Poetry is wishing and hoping and praying

Nostalgia and broken dreams

The color of ink seeping through skin

Onto notebook pages

Today, I don’t want to be a poet

Because poets are more than skin deep

They feel things inside their bones

In places most can’t even reach

Today, I don’t want to feel darkness

Like it’s all I’ve ever known

Don’t want to cut myself open with a

Ballpoint pen

To bleed words only I can comprehend

Onto pages no one will ever read

Today, I don’t want to be a poet

Because music notes have left gauges on my skin

And instead of healing them

Writing only deepens the pain

Till I’ve got treble clef cuts

And consonance caverns in my body

When I speak, I can’t help but count syllables

Spit assonance angrily

Today, I don’t want to be a poet

Because no matter how loudly I scream

Or how heavy I bleed

The pain is still there

Constant like ink on paper,

Poetry is the home I didn’t ask for

But moved into anyway

Set my things down in the soft spaces

In between stanzas

Leave pieces of myself in each quatrain

Leave voicemail like similes

Sleep where metaphors lie because

Poetry is my home

But it is also my graveyard

Ink stains on my fingers, but blood stains on my coffin

Like Romeo and Juliet who found a home

Among the still faces of the dead

Mind and heart at war like Capulet and Montague

I hated that play

Maybe because it felt too familiar

Like Shakespeare reached into the inner workings of my soul

And played them like a melancholy ballad

Today I don’t want to be a poet

I don’t want to drown in the waters of my soul

Or burn up in the ashes of my sadness anymore

And god, isn’t it crazy that my vice is as simple as

Words on paper

But somehow it means so much more

Burns like whiskey down fragile throats

On stolen Sunday nights

And cigarette smoke curling in lungs

Like a savior

Penetrates till I bleed ink

Till I can’t help but sink back into the things

I told myself I’d never venture into again

Come back again and again

To a cure that only leaves me empty and lost

Leave everything on the page

When it might better to keep some things

Tucked close

Left with open wounds

Today I don’t want to be a poet

Because sometimes I feel music so deeply

That I tuck lyrics far inside of me

As if I’ll be able to keep them there

Even though the words leave cuts on my fingers

And the guitar chords taste like acid

In my mouth

Today, I don’t want to be poet

I want to feel things on the surface

See the world as simply as colors on a canvas

Stop speaking in metaphors

Wash away ink stains and let my bruises be

Feel as freely as my heart beating

In time with my mind

Find myself without drowning in galaxies

Sober instead of drunk

On poetry and prose

Tomorrow maybe I'll want to be a poet

But not today,

Not today.