Sometimes I just feel like telling him,

'I like you.'

Because there's a shy, small part of me that believes that that could be a beginning to something wonderful.

But a bigger, louder part of me recognises it for the tremendous mistake that it would be.

So I press backspace. 

And      

   do 

      nothing. 

Sometimes I have ugly days. Not my face. Me. My thoughts. My heart.

I have days when cracking even a single smile seems like too much effort. When the world seems too bleak, people too selfish and the blue of the sky only appears to be a

never-ending grey. Days when i can't get myself to care. When no candle, no fire, not even the vastness of the sun seems enough to illuminate the darkness that settles inside of me. When i just lie, floating away with the waves, ready for the big wave to come and take me away, if it must.

When every word that I have to force out of my mouth seems to drain me off all the energy, how am I ever going to be able to muster up the words to explain to you why my eyes look void of light, my steps limp, and my love invisible.

Please give me a day.

Tomorrow i'll be back to the chirping and the jumping, but today,

I need the silence

Today, I must rest.