INTRODUCTION

This is in your memory

This compilation just for you

Every time I miss your presence

I’ll pour it out here for you

You might not read it now

You might not read it ever

But you are on my mind so often

I need to channel the sorrow somewhere

MIDDLEPOINT

To the rhythm of Beethoven, or maybe Alizee

I’ll find the music to keep me focused

To keep my thoughts on writing about you

To keep my thoughts, until they’re cleared, on me and you

What we were and could have been

What we did and could have done

There was so much and there would have been

If I was not the villain in our tale

THE END

You’ll live in my mind forever, I know that

I might forget our time together

But I can’t forget you, not your influence

I can’t forget your soul and spirit, can’t un-love your heart

I’ll miss you every day going forwards

I’ll miss knowing that at least your spirit was there

But all I have now are those memories and my thoughts

So, I’m penning it in your memory

May I never forget you,

Dearest Friend and Comrade

Written: 08 June 2021

PROLOGUE

Happy, though plagued

I spent my days, my way

You did not have a place in my mind

I was safe from the pain to come

THE BEGINNING

An interest you had in me, my name

I was myself: helpful and friendly

Suddenly, we were bonding

Another friendship on the horizon?

SPRINTING UPHILL

Books, characters, and poetry

Sherlock, mysteries, and meme battle

Speeches, discussions, songs

We were bonding, becoming friends

THE MIDDLEPOINT

Writing plans and ideas shared with joy

I fell in love with your characters

Eighteenth birthday, surprise collaboration gift

I cried, could barely read your message

When I finally reached it

I trusted, I loved you

My best friend, sister, soulmate

Couldn't imagine the future without you

You and I would be together

Facing the world, united forever

GOING DOWNHILL

Silence for weeks

Not talking to you as usual

I was losing my grip, I was losing you

I grew afraid, couldn't tell you

THE END

With my words, I hurt you, lost you

I have no second chance

I cried and fell apart

Life and writing lost meaning

Your choice broke me

EPILOGUE

It feels like ages, has not been that long

I'm still a part of the walking -- no, the living dead

But, I'm finding meaning again

Learning to live, love, and laugh

Finally forcing myself to

BEGIN AGAIN...

Written: 08 June 2021

Do you remember our plans?

We were playing around

Proposing solutions for meeting up

Marriage and circus

Boats and ostriches

Me and you, them and us

I remember we thought of getting your brother married

I don’t remember who he was paired off

But he would probably cringe to hear of our plans

Then we decided we’d form a circus

You’d ride the ostriches

I’d be the...acrobat?

Or would I have been the ringmaster?

Guess it doesn’t matter

Because I’m still stuck on the absurdity

We never did form that circus

Or marry off each other

Or made it for Baba’s birthday

But those few days of planning

Going crazy with the rest of the group

How could I forget the joy they brought me?

Written: 10 June 2021

Do you remember

We made a plan to learn

New words every day

And share them with each other

That plan didn’t last a week

But I am now learning every day

Writing it down

In that same notebook

I looked to the first page

Struck by the ‘positive’ words

Words that I don’t look for anymore

Since the negative captures me

I realize that I am void of insouciance

That my roseate view of the future is dimmed

I am not as amiable; at least, I think so

My world and life has become onerous

I am woebegone, wishing for that splendiferous time

Slogging onwards, wishing for my nirvana

Perturbed, I flog my own heart with regret

I am sere, wishing to be swept away by some sweven

Words of Remembrance

That is what my personal dictionary

Has become to me

For the idea started between me and you

Written: 10 June 2021